What should I say or how should I react to my mom???

Well, if the whole experience of picking up after your mother for all these years has taught you never to do it again, at least it hasn't been wasted! She sounds thoroughly selfish and inconsiderate. If she's running her own business successfully, she's certainly capable of making her own arrangements to move and store her belongings when necessary. She has no need and no right to rely on you to do it for her, and then complain when she doesn't think you've organised it the right way.

As to her proposed visit to see your children, given your mom's personality, I'd just let it be a pleasant day, let the children enjoy it, and say nothing at all about how you're feeling. If you want and need to do that, save it until another day. If she makes some unpleasantly critical reference to what she considers your bad organisation and forgetfulness, just smile, and tell her you're sorry, but not to worry, it won't happen again.

Then when you have an opportunity to talk with her without your children present - not during the visit at all, I'd suggest, but later on when she's gone home - tell her you've moved her stuff for the last time, and you're not doing it again, ever. If she objects that you're not being a dutiful daughter, or that you're selfish or inconsiderate, try to stay calm and point out that since you so evidently are incapable of doing it the way she thinks you should, there's just no point in repeating the exercise.

If this still doesn't quell her protests and accusations, be completely honest - she's a hard nut, she won't crack! - and just say you've done it too often already, and it causes nothing but trouble with her and a lot of extra work for you, and you will NOT be involved in doing it again. She can't do anything about it if you stick firmly to that decision, repeating it if necessary until she gets the message that no means no. No negotiation! though from the sound of your mother, I doubt she'd consider negotiating with a daughter who she clearly regards as a lackey to use or not as she chooses, and who is obliged to do whatever she wants whenever she wants it.

If you don't want to confront her, you could just wait until the next time you get a direct "request" to do her work for her, and turn her down flat! My guess is that you'll find she raises it either directly or indirectly fairly soon, because she sounds like the type of person who doesn't let go easily, and is prepared to continue criticising your organisation long after the time is past when you can do anything to alter the outcome. You must take a stand at some point, and if you are determined to hold to your decision, your mom will undoubtedly find some other poor sucker on whose kindness she can count - for a time, anyway!

I wish you luck. If you take a stand now and mean it, you'll find you've made your life much easier for the future.

wimsey

First of all, it wasn't your responsibility to move your mom's things. If these tools were so important to her, she should have gotten them when she knew you were moving. If I understand your question, you are in the millitary, if this is so, you have enough on your mind without taking on your moms. Stand up and tell her politely, but firmly, that she needs to take responsibility for her things, and that you will no longer move, store or pay for any of her belongings.

at lest you learned a lesson and explain to your mom that you are sorry for not getting the tools but put some of it back on her that she never should have made you take care of that stuff anyway

why were your mom's/dad's things in storage and how did it come that you were the one toting it all over?? do they not have a home of some sort? and if so, why did they not have their own things there with them?? seems odd to me... i would venture to say that the things could not be that important to her that she would let it ruin her visit with you and her grandchildren.