helpppppppppp....how to save this couple?

This is a question he should be asking. He needs to be find out what is going on and then figure out where to go from there. All you can do is give him some moral support and hope that what he suspects is not true. He needs to confront her if he hasn't already.

Very often, when a spouse suspects an affair, something is wrong already. He might be willing to fight to save his marriage and needs proof in order to get his wife to end his behavior and start rebuilding the marriage. He has a right to protect himself if his wife is cheating on him. It puts him at risk for STD's among other things. You don't have to be in the middle or enable this. It's not a good idea for you to be his confident about his personal problems.

Suggest that he and his wife get some counseling by someone certified in couples counseling. There must be signs of problems for him to be looking. They have small children who need healthy parents. There are also some good marriage weekend programs that might be helpful,

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi9000_co...

If he does find his wife was having an affair, there may still be hope to save the marriage. Just exposing the affair ends it in many cases. With intensive effort from both, they can rebuild the marriage.

The following yahoo group site has many helpful articles and links saved in FILES, including some tips of ways to search for the truth.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/

his relationship with his wife has nothing to do with you. what you can do is tell your boss that if it is not part of your job description then you don't have to do it. it may be balsy but you need to put your foot down as an employee. just because you work for him doesn't mean that he can do whatever he wants with you...especially in getting you involved in his personal affairs. is your boss a manager or is he the owner? if he is just a manager or a supervisor type of person then he does have someone else that he can report to. or you can go talk to HR and complain. work is not personal and personal lives should never be work. there is no friend in business and it should stay that way. yet...your boss is bringing his personal live into the business and dragging you along with it. dont' worry about the children...you need to worry about yourself.

That's kinda wacky don't you think?

I would be afraid for the wife, he seems dangerous and obviously not a laid back type of guy....

If I were you I would advise and warn her of this. I actually have had the same problem due to my mates insecurity..

He owns one of our cell phone company's out here and he had and has access to all accounts including, a log on all my text message's so, he basically keeps tabs on me everywhere I went..I finally caught on to him and called the police and found out he did this in past relationships including a marriage I was never aware of..

I couldn't believe that a person can be so sick in the head, but I guess that what happens when you don't believe in medicine and having mental disorders...

Indeed the situation is pretty serious. I hope your boss is pretty straight forward and does not have any extra marital relationship with anyone. If that is so he will have a tendency to suspect his wife.

If this is clear he may be getting information from someone close to him that his wife is doing something which he does not like. This should be checked before he does tracking of her mobile calls.

Once this is also cleared you can go to their house, in case you are their friend, and have an open talk with both of them and clear each one's doubts.

You asked for advise.... stay out of it. Problems between couples are a very personal matter, even though your boss doesn't seem to think so.

Try not to get mixed up. If he expects you to help him by tracking messages, etc, and you are afraid of loosing your job, then you will probably have to go along, but do not attempt to help them. You might get caught up in a pretty ugly game or even get in trouble with them.

Try to keep your distance as much as possible.

The only way to really save this couple is if she is not cheating. Talk to him about marriage counselling for them, and tell him that you are sorry he is feeling this way, but its not part of your job to help him find out. If you know his wife and are friends with her, take her to lunch and talk to her about how weird he is acting, you dont have to say you know why, but see if she has noticed anything and suggest counselling to her. sometimes a completely unbiased outside oppinion can save a marriage.

Let us hope she is not..When in the heck does she have time for this with 2 small kids. He if he that sure Hire a PI to follow her for awhile. You do not know why she may be doing this. Ever heard of the old saying, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors? I think you should stay out of it. Because he is your boss..

It will do no good in talking to him. If she is cheating, then she deserves to be caught anyway. It may be in your best interest to stay out of it. If you talked to her about what he is doing and he found out, you could then be out of a job. She does need to know about it though....if she is not cheating. He will eventually give himself away about it bc he will not be able to hold everything in forever, and the more he looks for things, the more he will find whether it is innocent or not. He could make her into cheating when she is actually picking the children up from school if he is that determined to find something on her. He needs to realize that if she is not having an affair, he could ruin his marriage by doing this. It could be his guilty concious getting to him to be so determined.

Business is business and it is very unprofessional of him to get you involved. Do not discuss any of your personal feelings about this with him. Just do your job and when he asks you to check for text messages, just do it and report back to him. Follow his orders, do what he says but stay impartial and uninvolved. Also, be careful. He may try to pull the "I could really use a friend right now" b.s. which he may really mean at the time until the next morning when he freaks out at finding you in bed next to him.