Im torn between my husband and a male friend.. I just don't know what to do are anything please help me...

Don't make the fatal mistake of cheating on your husband, cuz all that does is complicate an already bad situation. Either work through things with your hubby or get out and take some time by yourself before getting involved with someone else. Establish some independence on your own rather than jumping from the frying pan straight into the fire.

There can be a balance between the friend and the husband. Being that your husband won't be the one that cleans up after your friend or cooks for her, he has no business putting you in the middle and making you decide between him or your friend. That's childish and selfish. Your friend will need help, but if she has family near by and friends from church, surely they will help her too. You can always bake up a casserole and freeze meal size portions. Then she can microwave it when she's hungry. And she can always sign up for meals on wheels at the hospital. She's going to be in pain, sleeping a lot, and will probably need a ride to physical therapy if one isn't making house calls. You don't need to be with her 24/7. She can still stay at her own home. But your husband is a grown man, and I'm sure he can read and has the ability to work the stove or microwave if necessary. Or he can get take out.

It would be simple for me to just say "leave him" - but that's taking the easy way out and, anyway, there is the additional aspect of "the other man." First of all, have you tried to get any outside help for your relationship? Like marriage counseling - whether via a psychologist/social worker or a clergy person? I would ask if you've talked to your husband about things, but it sounds like he isn't too receptive to that. Anyway, if you feel you've exhausted your options, I would say you should leave him. You don't say if you have any children, but my answer would still be the same even if you do have children. It's better to end an unhappy marriage than to stay in it and make everyone (self, spouse, and children) suffer.

As for the second part of the situation, the male friend, I would advise you NOT to move in with him. Give yourself time to adjust to being out of the marriage, etc. Try to take care of yourself so you know you can survive without a man to do everything for you. Don't rush into a physical relationship with this friend, either. Once again, give yourself some time. If it's right, time will tell. It's not the wisest thing to jump from one relationship into another one too quickly. You need to learn to be and do for yourself and even give yourself permission and time to grieve for the loss of the old relationship. You want to go into a new relationship in a healthy way, with your eyes wide open, and knowing what you really need from it. Realize that the relationship you now have with this friend will change once you are free of your husband, and even more if you move in with him. If you jump from one relationship to another too soon, you may wind up in another situation that you regret. Maybe not quite as bad, but one that doesn't really bring you the happiness you deserve.

Firstly, you are cheating on your husband emotionally. So you might as well admit it and accept responsibility for that. Now, on to the rest of your problem. You mentioned that your husband is cheating on you (at least that's how your edit reads). If this is the case, then divorce him. Make sure you get tested for STDs, as well.

Your friend may not be someone who you will spend the rest of your life with, either. Anyone who so willingly puts themselves in the middle of a troubled marriage is often bad news. You need to see a therapist (by yourself if your husband refuses to go) and get some clarity. Only then can you make the right choices.

You are in a bad marriage but keeping a male friend on the side is not going to help things at all, especially when he is encouraging you to things that are only self-serving to him.

You are married. Period. Plain and simple. It may be a rough patch right now or it may have been a mistake all together but there must have been some reason you chose to marry this man.

I don't care if he likes it or not, you two need to communicate. You need seek marriage counseling and you need to go even if he doesn't want to.

Stop depending on your friend to do things your husband won't do and work on why he doesn't do them. Get thee to a marriage counselor, girl!

my husband and i have been married for 4yrs. i have a friend a lot like the one you have. he is like a brother to me. my husband is very jealous of him. he has a girlfriend that is jealous of me. my friend and i don't talk as much anymore but when i see him it is a sight for sore eyes. life is an adventure. you go down many roads. you find out who your true friends are. if your friend means more to you than your husband you shouldn't be married. my husband is my best friend. try taking a different approach when talking 2 ur hubby. if ur friend is telling u 2 leave hubby ask him for 3 good reasons y. you said for better or worse....if there has been more bad than good,hubby's stuck by you through all the bad. who are you going to grow old with???

i have gone through something very similar. what i think it boils down to is do you really truly love your husband? if you really do love him and believe that what you once had can be salvaged then take my word for it, go to counseling and do everything you can to try and make it work. i know that when you have a good male friend how easy it can be to think that if you just left everything behind and started over how easy and great life would be. its just not always like that. you seem to realize all this when it is too late though. before you decide to leave your husband, make sure you know that it is what is best. you dont want to regret it. that is the worst feeling EVER. good luck to you, this is a horrible decision you have to deal with.

I don't know -- but I will say this:

It is very easy to be that other guy and look fantastic. On the phone he can be completely supportive and attentive. He is not in the middle of a five year relationship that needs some work. It is very very easy to sound the hero.

I have often (very often) thought it'd be great if married couples would have phone sex. The focus and attention is amazing and it's the safest "kink" in the world. If your hubby can't have phone sex ... then you need to work on the relationship before moving on to the next. It's just not honest.

i am very sorry to learn you and your spouse are not of one mind.

what happens is..... both combatants articulate their positions so clearly that they spend the rest of the lives refining the arguments / positions like a prosecutor.

both of you need to lighten up on each other.

about that offer that is too good to be true:

do you have children?

how do they fit in, will the new guy accept your kids?

i suspect that the new guy can't wait to get his hands on you.

he will take all the free milk and meat and jump in the saddle as many times as is possible until he gets tired of it.

if he proposed marriage to you that's one thing. if he just wants you to move in to nail it every night that another thing.

project where you will be in 6 months, 12 months 18 months.

will you be married or just putting out without end.???

do you love your husband? if yes, have a heart to heart with him in different venue, a restaurant on the beach or just some place new.

start the process of loving again.

The time spent with your friend would be better spent working on your marriage. The grass might look greener right now but that could change as soon as you move in with him. I'm sure your husband used to do things before you were married that he doesn't do now.