How is my thesis statement? I always have trouble writing one.?

I agree that it is vague and difficult to prove. Especially when you use the words "can mirror". Sure, anything CAN. I could just as easily say "Smoking dope in the parking lot can mirror and set the tone for student life." It sure did in my college.

And on the other side of the coin, I might also point out that an athletic program can also tear a school apart - like the lacrosse team at Duke did or like schools who get caught pushing football players through so they don't lose their eligibility do.

It isn't a strong thesis.

And also what would be the difference between a school "united as a nation" and a school "close as a small community"? Wouldn't the small community also be united?

I have taught and I would send you back for a stronger thesis. I think this one is unprovable. Where did you get your facts and figures?

Any time I see vague words like "can" in a thesis statement, it is back to the drawing board. It is kind of a cheating way to write a thesis. It is like a thesis that says "The weather in the summer in New York can be cool." It can be cool, but can also be hot. The word CAN negates the thesis.

Pax - C

To really see if it works, it would help to see the entire first paragraph.

Your argument isn't clear. "...mirror and set the tone for student life" is vague. Maybe there are too many metaphors in a row; it needs something concrete. You go from the mirror to the image of the school as a nation/ community. Also, the use of "community" twice makes it awkward. I don't know what to suggest as a revision because I don't know the basis of your argument (that athletic programs create a sense of community?).

I hope this doesn't sound too confusing. It is hard to judge it without context.

sounds like two different statements to me.

1. The type of athletic program a college has can mirror and set the tone for student life

2. it is easier to get the one-on-one connection in the school that creates a sense of community.

2 can be proved for a school that has no athletic program.

I don't and would never buy the premise of 1(as a non-athletic student I could not care any less what the athlete's are up to. they have no influence on my life as a student)

I think it's a good idea and some of the confusion might be cleared up if you split the part of the sentence after the semicolon into two sentences. It's a little hard to follow all the thoughts.

I agree about not using "community" twice. I also think that you might not mean the "type" of athletic program a college has, but rather the ethos of the program - type makes me think more concretely, like intramural, division 1, etc.

Try making some of the statements without using the passive voice.

"The type of athletic program a college exemplifies often mirrors and sets the tone for student life: "

... secondly, your statement is not clear at all. I do not understand what you are trying to prove because after the initial part of the thesis, you lose focus. From " It is easier" to "sense of community," you no longer seem to be talking about the athletic program of the school.

Its good. The nation reference strikes me as a little odd. community example is much better. good job

Well, first you might learn how to spell "perception." That's probably the reason you are having trouble.

It'll be on the NY Times best seller list.

yes, it makes sense and reads well...good start to an essay

good! just don't use "community" a 2nd time at the end.