Am I obligated to help with dinner clean-up?

Growing up, the rule in our house was: "Whoever cooks, shouldn't have to do dishes as well."

Offering to help clean up is how you show appreciation for good food. Eating what's on your plate, with enthusiasm, is the other way. Hopefully you'll do both!

NOTE: after reading what you wrote....Who can blame you for wanting Christmas on a small, relaxing scale with just your immediate family? It might feel akward the first year, but tell the extended family no-offense, but you've been super busy and you just want a small Christmas in your own home since you don't have that much time off for the Holidays. Since you get with them on Sundays anyway, they should allow you to do this without too much grief. So make sure you put plenty of effort into your Sunday visits and keep the sacred Holidays to yourself! :) Good luck!

The polite thing would be to stay and help, but it's understandable if you have to leave early. Be more specific with your offers so you don't get wrapped up in cleaning the whole mess up. I would say something like "May I help by clearing the table?" or insert some other job that would still help a lot, but not take too long--or something that may be more difficult for the hostess to do on her own. Ultimately, keeping the peace is the key. Any host should expect to clean afterward, but would appreciate the help.

I don't think you are obligated, but it would be nice to offer. If you just help clean off the table and put away food it should be enough and shouldn't take too much time.

I recently had two sisters and one brother camping at our property. I did all the cooking (they did supply some of the food) and one sister and one brother-in-law did the cleanup. The other sister stated "I didn't come here to work". That really rubbed me the wrong way.

P.S. What's wrong with saying "no thanks, not this time" to the invitation?

Sorry, but if they don't have hired help, it's considered good form to offer to help - and if your offer is accepted - to smile and do it goodnaturedly.

It usually is 'just as gals' although in our family, one son-in-law is absolutely wonderful about cleaning up. I have to race him for the kitchen if I want to participate.

Truly - if you feel so antagonistic towards this couple or with this family custom - there's no law that says you have to go. You can invite them to your home for a change (they'd probably really enjoy it) and you don't have to invite the whole tribe - just those relatives- and have a low key evening on your terms.

If someone has cooked you dinner then you should help with the clean up...it's only right. I would hope they would do the same for you are your house.

I always help clean up the mess at my parents house when we are invited to dinner...even on my birthday. I would never want to leave my parents the mess after they have done something so nice for me.

And yes, I work full time and have three children.

It would probably be appreciated and keep you on good terms with your family, but don't feel obligated.

I agree with you about the men. My boyfriend has five brothers and one sister. Every holiday, all the guys are sitting in the living room while myself and the other wives are in the kitchen helping clean up.

Oh Yuck...I continuously throw up in a rest room so I in no way gave something like that a concept. i think of the vomiter could freshen up his/her own mess because of the fact i'm helpful no person would be left in the room (or the domicile) to scrub it up. I additionally think of that the vomiter could pay for something that grow to be destroyed because of the vomiting episode...and per hazard strengthen up a sprint and stay domicile or pass to the washing room once you're unwell. I only don't comprehend projectile vomiting.

I don't think you are obligated at all but you might want to be courteous and ask or just pick up small things like used dishes and take them into the kitchen...the small things like that always help.

Well SweetHeart , it would only be fair if you eat there so you should be willing to help out in the clean up and it wouldn't hurt to offer your help in making the dinner . I mean it's only fair

No, you can offer if you like, but you are not obligated to help. Get the guys to do it.