Do you know someone like this? Are you like this? Why? HELP!!?

Unfortunately, you are already doing all you can do. She has to decide for herself to be healthy and do something in her life. Maybe the internet should get cut off so she can find out that there is more out there than just virtual friends. I know it can be hard to watch your friend live in a cave but it is her choice. Continue to try to get her out but understand that you have your own life to live. I also think that maybe the weight is why she hides at home. Our society isn't very nice to the overweight. Keep loving and let her know your concerns. when ever she decides to get up and stop using her grandfather she will lose the weight.She uses him because he lets her and maybe he likes someone being around. Good Luck

you know what? either her grandfather has to cut off her internet or kick her out of the house so that she finally realize what a mess she is. And about the killing herself stuff, it's not worth it. People like her shouldn't even exist. I mean everyone lives for a reason, and if they can't do any good to even themselves than what's the purpose of them sitting there bothering others. She won't have the gut to do it. If she really wants to commit suicide, she would have done it already. It's just what people said when they try to run from responsibilities, but are they really going to do it? i don't think so. I mean it's different for those who are at the bottom to feel like ending their lives, ending the miseries, but most of the time they would always get back up on their feet and start working things out. What does she have to face? Being spoiled by grandpa?

If you really are a good friend, you would know what to do that is best for her, right?

The internet can be very addictive.

She was probably depressed and found an outlet on the internet that provides a social outlet without actually forcing her to leave her home or deal with people face to face.

It's her life though, if she isn't asking for help there isn't much you can do.

If it gets to the point where the grandfather is being taken advantage of and becomes too old to look out for himself there are agencies you can call to have someone look in on him and make sure he's ok. But other than that they're both adults and it's their life , not really our place to judge, even though it seems very unhealthy.

She's obviously severely addicted. I agree she should be made to start working and contributing to the household. She could have an underlying depression that she could see a doctor about. If I were the grandfather or advising the grandfather, I would have the internet connection cut off.

If you can't get through to the woman then address your concerns to the grandfather. she sounds like she has a developmental disability and can't take care of herself.

Encourage the grandfather to get her into counseling or at least a mental health evaluation. The woman may have lived like this so ling that she has no other way of surviving.

what will happen to her after the grandparent dies? Her future is at stake here because she is very defendant and obviously disturbed or even borderline retarded.

I think it's good that she has internet "friends"..but she is overdoing it!!She definitely has an addiction. And, she has no one to "make" her do anything else. If she keeps on...the fire dept. will have to come some day and use a "lift" to get her out of the chair...(if she can still sit in one) When I went to the dr. yesterday, I had lost 4 lbs. and the only thing I can attribute it to is that when I watch tv...I eat or drink,,but when I'm on the internet I usually don't eat or drink. Hope you get her some help soon.!!Those lbs will keep adding up and she won't even realize it.

She grew up without learning how to be self-sufficient. Chances are her parents were deadbeats so she models herself after them (not knowingly). And obviously her grandpa passed this behavior down too, what with his allowing her to mooch off him. You can't force her to do anything. He has got to kick her out of the house. As long as he supports her, she has no reason to get a job, get out of the house and get a life.

How about having her join you for evening walks to get her some exercise? Is she interested in doing a diet? Can you do it with her? Basically, just planning healthy meals for the both of you in case you don't need to lose weight. Good luck.

P.S. Just get her out of the house in general. Go shopping, go to a park or a bar, just hang out. Show her there are things out there.

Wow....

I'd say get her some help... Like from a therapist or something. But like you said, apparently she won't get off the computer...

Maybe therapists make housecalls...?

And I hate to take this to a dark level, but her grandfather is getting older, and it's soon to be his time to go (or so I would think). And when that time comes... I think everything that's wrong with her will wash over her like a tidal wave.

Good luck and God bless

=)

Yes, she has a mental issue, it's called being a sloth. What she needs is a swift kick in the ***. Seriously. She is lazy, lethargic, spoiled, selfish and just plain gross. She obviously does not have any self respect for herself (i.e., her weight and the shower issue). Why would you expect her to have any respect or consideration for anybody else?

She needs to be kicked out. Plain and simple.