How do I dissuade my son from seeking a military career?

The military is a very good choice for a career. Yes there is a war on but someone has to be there. You of course have the fears of loosing a son in war. The smarter he is and better trained he is, the better he will be prepared for any situation.

You should support him no matter what he does in life. He looks to you for support not criticism. He will soon be an adult, able to make his own decisions about his own life. Some may be difficult decisions others may be easy ones but they will be his . Just be thankful he's not out on street corner selling dope. This is a very noble career. Good luck.

I understand your fear. My son joined the military. I found out 2 weeks into his basic training, on the 6th of May of this year, when he called to tell me.

We are a military family. My paternal grandfather was in the Army during WWI, and his father, my great grandfather, served during the Civil War. My dad was sent to Viet-Nam twice, and retired after 20 years. My brother served his 4 years, and I served my 6 with the Army Reserves. And even though -- it was a blow to get that call.

My son and I had discussed, at length, the pros and cons of joining the military. I really thought that I had convinced him otherwise. My son proved me wrong.

Our children are a product of our nurturing, our advising, our attempts to make right with what is so wrong with the world. And, still, in spite of it all, they have minds of their own, their own will, and their own desires for what they want of the life they call their own.

I hate to tell you this, but your son sounds like he has made up his mind to do this, and I doubt there is anything you can say or do to dissuade him. So, my best advice to you now is to support him. Give him all the encouragement, pride, enforcement you can muster to support his decision -- no matter how hard it is going to be ... because, believe me, it WILL be hard.

He is trying to tell you that he is a man now, and honestly, he almost is. I guess that's what is so hard -- he ALMOST is. He has chosen his path in life, and all you can do as his mother is support his choice.

You thought rearing him was hard -- watching him make life decisions contrary to what you believe and feel best for him is the REAL hard part.

I wish you the best.

Is there a male role model that can talk to your son? Perhaps an independent voice can shed some light on the reality of this choice.

If this has been a long time interest for him, it could be very difficult to change his mind. It's not based on retaliation from you and your husband, is it? (I'm going to do what you tell me not to.....kind of thing?).

While there are benefits of a military experience, I understand your views and fears. And you have a right to have a heart to heart and say what you need, however you need to prepare yourself to accept a decision you don't agree with.

I am sorry this is happening, and wish you the best.

Well, I am not a parent. So let me put it in the view of your son. He wants and needs your support. He is pursuing a dream that he has had since he was young. Do you really want to be the person that stomps on his dreams and goals? You are his mother, you are the one that he needs the approval from. Honestly, no matter what you say, if he is set on going into the military, army, navy, marines, whatever, he is going to do it. Becuase as much as you can't accept it, when he turns 18, the only thing he can't do for himself is buy alcohol. you want him to grow up and be the person he wants to be, then don't stomp on his dreams, don't tell him he can't do somthing. Because chances are, if you don't support him, you are going to end up losing him way faster than you ever would if he went to war. AND if he doesn't live his dream, he is going to live a very unhappy life doing somthing that he hates, all because "mommy said so." I hate to break it to you, but sometime mommy needs to let go.

PS. I would never want to see one of my loved ones go into this foolish, no good, waste of a war. but if that was their dream, you bet your *** i would support them and be waiting for them when they got home.

And as a "non teen" you need to understand that HE does need to live his dreams. Don't stop him from what he wants to do. yes, you can be scared, but no, you can't stop him.