How do I win back the trust of those I've pushed away?

Question

I see  the light now and I'm tired of pointing the blame for others and how they've hurt me. I'm finally realizing I've pushed people away and hurt myself.

Now, I want to redeem myself to the ones who've backed away or are ignoring me. I've been getting help in many forms (counseling, books, interpersonal relationship classes, etc.) on how to better myself to the people around me. It's been a tough struggle over the last year and a half, but I am persistent and selfish on getting this right!

Do I move on and learn the lessons or fight my damnest to get them back?

Thanks.

P.S. Confessional to all the good men out there: you're not all bad people. For years I had a lot of anger towards the gender as a whole. Now, I'm finding that I shouldn't attest a couple of bad ones for everyone. For that, I am sorry.

Class · Accepted Answer

And your apology my dear, is accepted. Also, it's very much respectful that you've seen the light and is now trying your hardest to get people back into your life. However, just remember if they don't want you back all you can from that point is move on and don't worry about them. It's the best course of action because people don't forget if they were hurt by people. I think if you keep doin' what you're doing to improve your life. You'll be alright. I wish you all the best.

ZachZachZach · Answer

Trust is the hardest thing to gain from someone, thats what determines best friends, to marriage.
only way to bring it back if you lost it, is to call up the friends you lost, apologize ONCE dont keep doing it because its annoying.  And if they accept then your on your way back in, then after that start hanging out with them, but dont except much back, like comfort, or trust right away.  It will take awhile, go little by little back into there trust level.  Always have a friendly smile, and dont argue about pointless things, always be POSTIVE about every situatition.

jessica.slone · Answer

its going to take a while, but keep at it and dont give up. you will eventually win back your trust, it might take years, it might take months. but prove to them that you can and are a better person from the mistakes you have made. Good luck and i hope it works out. Just keep in mind that some of them may not be so willing to let you come back.

myleslr · Answer

Gradually try to build up your relationships with them again.  You should also probably apologise.

It will most likely take a while of you being super nice for them to come around again, but most people are fairly forgiving, so give it a shot and good luck.

Also, well done to you for changing.  I know people who were like you used to be, and they would NEVER bother to try to change, so good for you for doing it.

Anonymous · Answer

Live the right way do the right things, Treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself, Try to be helpfull and usefull without wanting anything in return. Be honest and kind and gentle and dont criticize anyone.

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How do I win back the trust of those I've pushed away?

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