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Job Application?
This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald's. They hired him.
NAME - Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY - $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION - Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD - Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY - Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT - My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING - It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK - Any.
PREFERRED HOURS - 1:30 - 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be, ''Do you have a car that runs?''
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE? Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
14 Answers
- Anonymous5 years ago
Ohhh the honesty of youth, hehehe another good one hun, you on a roll today, keep em comming Have a star xxxxxxxxx
- 6 years ago
I am on friendly terms with almost all of my coworkers and supervisors. Disagree or Agree
Source(s): please help - How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- BethLv 41 decade ago
And thats why so many of americans dont have jobs, too many smart asses out there.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Funny! THey actually hired him? Star from me!
- JAM123Lv 71 decade ago
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent one Marmite.!!!
No wonder their food sucks, lol.!!!
10/10.!!!
Cheers.!!
