Death in the family, no funeral, gift etiquette?

A card is appropriate, with an invitation to call if anything is needed. They will respond if the want.

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Death in the family, no funeral, gift etiquette?

My great great aunt died recently. The service was a small one for only the immediate family. Since the funeral was small and no flowers could be sent, what is proper etiquette as far as a sympathy card? Should I include money? A gift card so my cousin's family can go out to dinner together?...

Gift For Death In Family

Death Etiquette

I would just send a nice card and maybe some flowers for the family to enjoy in their home. You could also make a memorial gift to a charity. The charity would typically send a notice of your gift to the family. I have never heard of sending money or gift card. Maybe if they are having difficulty paying for the expense of the funeral.

Did the son have any special interests? Pets, a sport, or such? If so you could give some money to the local humane society and ask that they send a card or certificte saying "For donation received in memory of ______ <deceased's name> . From <list of donors>" You'd want to cal the local humane society to ask what level of donation would be needed for a card or certificate to be done. We did this for the husband of a co-worker and the donation level was $50 for a certificate. ... If the son who passed was active in Boy Scouts or other group, you might check to see if you could donate to that group and at what level you would need to donate to have some recognition of the gift sent. .... Sometimes the family will say 'in lieu of gifts please make donations to..." and it would be a cancer research fund or hospice or even a Ronald McDonald House or such. ..... It is generally considered thoughtful to try to come up with something that was dear to the person who has passed and make a donation toward that (thus my list of thoughts here). It's good of you to to want to do something for the family of the deceased. Also, a card saying how the person will be missed (and addressing directly something the deceased enjoyed or a particular personality/physical trait is always nice. Something like "Our deepest condolences on Name's passing. We'll always remember and hold dear the memory of the sparkle in his eye when telling a joke - or We'll cherish always his positive outlook and attitude. There is a wonderful lesson in seeing someone live a life so brilliant when faced with the challenges Name faced. The light of his spirit continues to shine." ) Make a personal and caring remark - to emphasize the closeness and underline the personal aspect.

I have seen many things and all of them are special in their own way. The purpose of sending a card and or little sometning is to let the family know you care. When my father died we got cards, Cut flowers, big flower arrangements, plant arrangements and an Uncle did send some money saying he would like to contribute to my fathers headstone.

As long as you do what you will do sincerely and with love it will be alright. First a good sympathy card...take care with this one as it tells the family how you feel.

Then maybe some flowers or a plant. Now, you know your family...some people find flowers or a plant depressing because they die. Especially plants can become hard for someone grief stricken to take care of and then becomes a grim reminder of the loss as it dies. Flowers I like because, after a few days when they start to fade they can be thrown out.

Now, money...if done right can also be just fine. Contributing to the headstone or a charity in that person's name are fine ideas.

You don't really have to send anything, some of the best things for my family was people who wrote us small personal notes of their favorite memories of him...some of them we didn't know about and it was kind of a fun way to remember him.

Hope that helps.

I think it is appropriate to send a card saying you are sorry for their loss and perhaps include a special memory or something like that. If you wanted to send flowers to the home, that would be fine, too.

I am not sure about a gift card.

obviously they wanted a small/quaint funeral and may have been requested by the aunt before she passed, a nice card is more that enough to show you care. It will mean a lot more than words can say, they probably aren't even expecting that much. Your all good with a card!

You can send a sympathy card along with a check, to be made out to your loved one's favorite charity organization, the check will be to honor the memory of your great aunt! It is a nice way to honor the person who has passed and help those less fortunate at the same time. (It is said when good deeds are done to honor the people who passed away, it elevates their soul!!!)