is it considered abuse if an older family member constantly tells a younger family member that they are stupid

it's verbal abuse and u need counseling to get over what others feel about u

As hurtful as your brothers comments were, it's a norman thing with siblings. Kids can be very cruel. Especially siblings. My sister used to get me in a head lock and beat my head against the wall. Unfortunately for her, she quit growning at 5'1" tall and I kept growing to 5'10" tall. At that point she quit being a bully.

I was made fun of, called ugly, call pinochio nose, and hit by school mates.

Stuff like that takes a real toll on a person's self esteem.

But, alas, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because other kids were mean to you when you were a kid, that does'nt mean the grown up version of you is ugly, worthless, stupid, or unlovable.

Put it in perspective. List all the things you are good at, the accompoliments your made, etc.

I'd be willing to bet, there are more items on the plus side than the minus side.

For everyone there is a soul mate, a best friend, and a confidant.

The best way to make others respect and love you is to love and respect yourself.

Good luck

Sadly your brother was jealous of you. It seem that when you where born your parents gave you all the attention, at lease that's what he feels. It is natural for the older one to resent the new member of the family.

Especially if he was discipline by your parents because he mistreated you when you both where young.

You're correct it is a sign of abuse. You must keep in mind that is the past, but if you feel that it interferes with your daily living, you should comfort your brother and ask him why did he said those things that hurt it your feelings.

This only happen with your brother. You are abusing yourself by doubting the compliments that people speaking from their heart. What people says to you very important because they respect you. You are pretty and smart and mostly they love you. Please don't do this to yourself because of the insensitive brother. God bless.

Yes, verbal abuse.

I know it as well. And I'm the same way- I have the hardest time believing people who say "I love you."

Because after everything everyone use to say registered in my heart and head, I started believing it myself. And all I'm thinking is, "How can you love something like me? Is isn't possible."

But... you have to realize. There will be people who will love you. There are people who love you. You are not worthless.

My mother use to say I was a mistake. That I was worthless. That I was a "monster." And it dimmed on me one day, after hearing it so much, after hearing those rejecting words... "She's right. She is right. I'm horrible. I'm a horrifying person. A monster."

But, I've gotten older. I've met people. I've been told I'm special. I've been told that I've changed people's lives.

I have been told I am loved.

And yes- it is hard to believe still. But I try with all my might to believe it. To believe it, and to give myself a second chance. I don't need them to forgive me- I think I actually need to forgive myself.

You're not worthless. You're not ugly or stupid. You're not. We're not. You are loved. You will be loved.

And yes, sometimes we will be disliked. Sometimes, our faith will get shaky. But hang on. Just keep hanging on, no matter how thin the thread gets. I believe in you. I know other people do, too.

That's what happens. Y'know? If you have trouble finding faith in yourself, try and find it in other people. Because... everyone deserves to be loved. Nobody deserves that kind of rejection. Nobody.

I wish you the happiest life, sweets. ^_^ Keep hanging on.

This is so horrible, but I used to ( i was like 10- she was like 6) tell my sister that she was adopted. I don't know why I would do that to her considering she is my best friend. Siblings are mean to each other cause that's what they do, you eventually grow out of that phase. I have a ten year old son that bullies his siblings, he's the oldest. I just remind him that one day they're gonna grow up and kick his a#$! Really, if it is that hard for you to trust what people tell you, you need to confront your brother and get this whole thing straight- you not only need an apology, but you deserve one. Talk to your brother and tell him he's an a@#hole for being so cruel to you as kids- I bet he doesn't even know the effect it really had on you!

If your older brother was a child, too, then your brother is not responsible. If your older brother was an adult, then yes it was emotional/verbal abuse. Your parents failed to keep you safe regardless of your brother's age. So it was neglect (abuse) on behalf of your parents. You cannot do anything about your previous abuse, but you can get help for yourself. See a psychologist you can help you understand that the abuse was wrong and not your fault. Then you can recover and learn to accept the many good and not so good things you are. Good luck!

Technically if a parent/grown up did it then yes, it would be verbal abuse. Older brothers and sisters often do this sort of stuff. It depends to what extreme. I would seek help to get over this. It doesn't really matter at this point if it was abuse or not, you need to work on your own self esteem and look to the present and future.

Good luck

Not criminal abuse, but it was verbal abuse. If you are both older and more mature now, I doubt your brother would say those things. Maybe you should have a talk with him to let him know how much it hurt, still hurts, and affects your everyday life now. He probably didn't realize it then or even think about it, but if you can come to a closure about it with him, you both may feel much better and get along with your life with a better feeling toward yourself and each other.

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That was a long time ago .How is your relationship with your brother now?When I was young lots of kids at school called me names, and my dad used to tell me how stupid I was it took a few years after I grew up to get over it but I finally did ,so when people give you compliments say thank you and believe it !

How awful for you. Try to remember that your brother was just a child when he said those things. Not a very nice child, but a child nevertheless. Obviously he felt he was not getting as much attention as you, probably because you were and are so pretty and smart.

Have confidence in yourslef and forget about your rude brother.

Sorry to say it but it is abuse... psychological abuse. Although I'm sure your brother did not mean to cause you this harm, the damage has been done. You need to get help like counselling or a psychiatrist or therapist.... there are so many of them nowadays.