who's child?what should a man do?

Thats a mighty BIG pill to shallow.. But if you see the realistic possiblities of your own personality and work with it then anything can be salvaged. What i mean is don't just go by good intentions but truly see what your tolerance level is, your attitude level, your ability to let go, your ability to understand, your ability to forgive... once you figure out your capabilities then work with that to make things better. i believe people have the best intentions but don't carry through cause those intentions aren't realistic. So do this and things will get better. Also if you raised and loved him/her like your child no matter what DNA she/he is you will always love them, don't take it out on the kid all he/she know is that YOU are their father... Keep that in mind too. GOoD luck and i hope you do what is best for you and your family... (also counseling would be good too)

you know what there is no pride to swallow u make that your baby by being the babys dad, cause it does take a real man to do the right thing and it sounds like this baby needs u . anyone can be a father but being a dad is being there not only for the good but walking the floors with one that is sick a friend of mine had a wife that was in and out of his life and everytime she came back she was pregnant this happened 6 times, it turned out only one of those children looked like him but it didnt matter to this man he needed and loved those kids more than life itself, u wouldnt believe the full rich life he had with his six wonderful children, u may have a problem trusting your wife for even a long while but u would never have to worry about trusting your love for this child what greater gift is that and a child can never have too many people that love them, even if the marriage doesnt work out the only real loss there will be is money if u do have to pay child support and u CANNOT miss out on the greatness u could do by being this childs daddy and the love u would both miss out on

I am a male. That would be a deal breaker for me. Let us say that it did work out for a time. Then a divorce comes along, not paying child support for some one elses child. That is the way it works in this state. Any off spring are considered a product of the marriage, regardless of parentage.

To the point, relationship over.

I can and have looked past infidelity.

I could not continue with her if I had doubt about the parantage of a child.

I think it is incumbent on her to tell you the truth regarding her pregnancy. Unless you both did her within hours of each other

she probably knows. If not that is another problem.

Trust can be rebuilt in time and you can get over infidelity but I am sure that looking at another guys kid daily would reopen that wound and cause it to fester.

Best to get this straight before you proceed.

I'm afraid that if I found out my husband (I'm a woman so this comes from a different angle) got someone pregant while we were separated, there would be NO getting back together. In fact, I may be faced with a separation soon and if my husband decides to start seeing other women, there is no chance I would ever let him back in my life. Taking time off from me to 'sew his wild oats' is out of the question.

If you care about her and both of you want to work it out then go for it. As for the kid, if it was like a one night stand thing, you could raise the kid as your own (would recommend telling the kid early so it doesnt get screwed up) if what she had was more then maybe break it off. Dont know if this helps but gl!

That depends on the people involved - can you forgive - can she fogive - will you bring it up in a fight - would she? Was it a meaningful relationship - or a one night stand - do you or does she know the possible father - does the possible father know about the pregnancy??? Too many factors that can influence it...

If you love your wife/husband as much as you said you did before then yes, if you believe in a strong marriage and what you said in your vows then yes. With a lot of communication and working together, and of course love and trust anything can be done :o)

it takes a lot of strength in a person to try to make it work. ive been in a similar situation yrs ago. it ended up my child which i still have a relationship with but eventually the truth that they cheated was too much too bare and we ended up divorced. if its not yours let her go. you will end up resenting her anyway. from where i stand she should be history anyways.but its your life not mine.

If you're trying to save your marriage, that's fine. If it doesn't work out, don't worry about it. If the kid is yours after D.N.A. , then just be there for the kid. If the child isn't yours, help her in finding the father.