Why do people think telling the truth means being blunt and rude?

You are correct that the truth is beholden to the same rules of politeness and cilvilty as any other comment when such rules are used.

It has no special concession.

Completely truthful comments can be as deliberatly antoganistic rude, degrading and worthless as anything else coming out of someone's mouth.

Example if I stood up at a funeral and said "the person in that box is dead and will soon be rotting like roadkill, with skin melting away and parasites feasting on internal organs etc." I am telling the truth.

The phrase for such behaviour is "it is uncalled for" , a "worthless comment" bordering on a "deliberate attack" or more an indication of near psychotic behvaiour!

By the same token the truth, as anything coming out of our mouths can be softened, made appropriate, used with correct timing, tact, manner and intonation- or completey withheld, in order to educate, strengthen, advise, warn or empower others.

Politness and manners were a very complex code to make interaction smoother.They provided a buffer between personalities, and if times are tough, prevents humans from actually killing each other on sight :)

The easier life gets , the more the line is blurred or disregarded.

In the last few years we

have entered a new era of interaction where rudeness and bluntness and a lot of other things we have brainwashed by realtiy TV are now considered okay.

Many people have forgotten old terms to express unnacceptable verbal behaviour.

For example-

to be overly forward,

to make a pointed remark,

to make a snide aside,

to be deliberately obtuse,

to be antagonistic,

To put an edge on it

To be discourteuos,

To patronise

To speak with improper manner.

Most of these are lumped under the general heading of 'head games' and even played happily on one another these days.

Australia and most western countries are very bad for this at the moment.

Australians in partricular always had a relaxed attitude and scorn of authority, and general fun making air about them but it was generally positive.

As a whole they were never rude. Never delibrately impolite and quite conservative in their speech.

They in fact wasted very little energy when communicating and scorned anyone else who was too overly emotional.

I visited Sydney recently and looking at all the reality TV there,like 80% of the channels, and the way young people on the buses emulate it, I might as well have been in the states on the set of a reality TV show anyway.

Same nonsense different accent is all.

This is a question with many facets, the personalities involved, the reason for the comment, the setting & the familiarity with each other, of the folks involved. Although, with the exception of an emergency situation, people should, at least, remain polite.

There is often a problem between defined truth, "Fred, you cut the board too short," the board is too short & perceived truth, "Fred, that's an ugly hat," some may find it pleasing or Fred may have some other attachment to it.

A lot of the problem may stem from the current belief in "multi-tasking" [i.e. artificial efficiency]; people respond when they have not listened or read. I've received email respones with questions that were answered in the original email. I've even received a nasty-gram from a girl on YA who did not like, but obviously had not completely read, my answer to an automotive problem.

Then too, some people cannot differentiate between the cajoling that works in the gym, "c'mon woosie, you can do 5 more reps," & encouragement that applies in the workplace, "we can finish 1 more task before quitting today."

Unfortunately there are also those who claim that thier blunt & insulting manner is "efficient & businesslike" it is neither. Those people usually get away with it against co-workers; then blow the big contract by using it with a client.

There is a saying, "someone who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, isn't a nice person." Likewise you can learn a`lot about a person by how they phrase things. So, if nothing else, it provides useful insight. Though I'd still rather they did not do it.

Wow, based on a lot of the answers here tonight its clear to see why we have so many fcuked up people in society. Hows that for honesty?????

Being tactful and honest is COMPLETELY different than being blunt and rude. People who don't know the difference or don't care to know the difference lack simple human decency.

If for example two people were dating and one person was no longer interested, it does not require anyone saying "I think you're ugly and stupid and I don't want to see you anymore." A person with integrity and class would simply say "I don't feel the same way you do and I don't think this is going to work." Get it??? No insults need to be spoken at all. If you think putting someone down is necessary then it's likely you have self-esteem issues.

Some of you are so callous about people's feelings, it's a shame that you think nothing of behaving that way because the rest of us have to have relationships with you...ugh!

Rude Truth

In most cases you can tell the truth without being blunt and rude. Even if the truth is not "nice" it can be worded in a harmless or nearly-painless way. However, some people seem incapable of telling the truth without being blunt and rude. These are usually the people who blurt out the truth or their true opinions no matter what, without taking time to consider how it will make other people feel. If you take the time to think about what you're saying and choose your words carefully, it is possible to the the truth tactfully.

The truth hurts and so people would rather ignore them than to face them.

Some people that are honest have their answers twisted to suit someone else's agenda. Most politicians make promises that can be seen as lies. If the politicians said the truth about their opponents, they could lose if they have lie to tell other than the truth.

There are ways of saying in a tactful manner, but it is not easy since as you wrote "Do you want me to be blunt and insulting to you?" Some people are too sensitive and many that come are.

Here are sites that tell the truth as to how horrible any business can be. Some will say that these sites are blunt and rude while others will appreciate the truth. Visit them and decide for yourself.

http://daymarecometrue.bravehost.com/index.html

AND

http://mariaisabelescobar.vox.com/

Ahhh! Have pondered this one myself. My boyfriend is a true believer of the phrase...Sorry, I'm just being honest. I have told him many times being honest or blunt does not mean being rude! He has no tact. He marvels when I'm honest with him about something & I don't insult him at the same time. Hello! Didn't anyone teach these people manners when they were growing up???

Sometimes telling the truth and being tactful cannot be done. If you're tactful and the person just doesn't get it, what's a person supposed to do?

I don't like to lie but I do tell small "white lies" when it spares a person's feelings.

Yes and no...

Another virtue is learning to be tactful.

One can only ask a very repulsive question before the response becomes insulting.

Yes, I think that is true. People should be more polite in delivering the truth. I have been on the worse end of impolite deliverances of the truth. People hate me because I am smart and participate in class, but they tell me the "truth" by saying that they hate me in a rude way.