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I have 2 nieces I've never been close to but I WANT to be now...Is there any way I can help make this happen?
My brother & his wife have 2 girls (18 and 20). I have not been allowed to see them for MANY years because their mother thinks everyone in my family is HORRIBLE--even though we've done NOTHING to her... I tried for YEARS to see the kids but was always told "the kids are at dance class or they have a school function or they are at their cousins". It was excuse after excuse... Well now they literally HATE me and for what I do NOT know but their mother has brainwashed them into thinking I am a HORRID woman. Well, I'm dying and all I want is SOME relationship with these girls to make up for lost time. Their mom now is remarried and lives in another country and NOT with the girls. They went to visit her in Europe over the summer and I volunteered to drive the 3 hours to pick them up when they came home. They said barely 2 words to me. I am DIRT to them all because of WHATEVER their mother has told them all these years. How do I get them back? My time is short.
I have written to the girls TRIED to talk to them in person on our little trip back from the airport this past summer, even CO-SIGNED for both their college student loans... NOTHING has worked thus far... I don't expect them to LOVE me but I just wish they would LIKE me and agree to spend even an HOUR with me before I die. Their father is almost as sick over all this as I am.. ..but he's got no backbone when it comes to his EX and his girls...
Their mother was sent the student loan papers but never filled them out or sent them back so they needed someone quickly and I was there.. but this all came through my BROTHER and not the girls... they didn't even know I co-signed until their schools finance office let them know.... all they said was "really"?
5 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
well this is a very sad story. i think you should just tell them what you told us. except leave out a few parts like their mom brainwashing them. tell them that you barely got any chance to ever see them growing up, and though you could've made more of an attempt, and even though their mom has probably said some bad things about you that most likely aren't true, you want to try to be close to them. they're your family. and you want to have some sort of relationship with them. hopefully they will understand. if not, they obviously are just being stubborn. and you tried to have a relationship with them. :]
- Danielle CLv 41 decade ago
So pretty much yall are all adults. Their mom cannot keep them from seeing you or you from seeing them. It will be hard to gain their trust and affection but maybe you could give them a call and just tell them how you feel. Tell them you wanted to be in their lives but wernt permitted to. If either or both warm up to you ask if they would like to go to lunch sometime. Just remember do not diss their mom when you are talking to them because they will turn away from you. Try to be a friend first.
Source(s): 2 nephews and a niece. - Dina KLv 51 decade ago
You can't. They've been brainwashed. Let them go. You can leave them a letter for them to read when they are older (after you have passed).
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