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Artificial smoke HELP!!!!!?

Guys, I need help!!! I have exactly 1 week left for a BIG party, and I need ideas on how to create a controlled burst of thick, white, artificial smoke. Fire-extinguishers and dry ice are a COMPLETE NO-NO.

(the smoke's for special effects, not mischief.)

Also, can anyone please tell me how to make a home-made smoke bomb?

Please?

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