Why do I direct my anger towards my wife even tho it's not her I'm angry with?

Unfortunately most people do let out their frustrations on the people they feel closest too. Ever hear the expression "you always hurt the one you love"?

You say you love her dearly. So what you should do being that you are aware of the problem, which means that half the problem is solved as you are aware of it.

You can count to 10 or to 100, bite your toung, go for a walk, a drive. Anything that will help you not attack her when you feel irked. It is all in your hands. You asked for help. I tried to help you. But truth to tell, you lovely patient wife needs the help. Yes from you.

Good luck to both of you, and I hope I helped.

You direct your anger toward your wife because she is the closest person nearest to you and you know there will be no reprecussions such as if you showed anger on your job etc. There must be something bothering you that you have not shared with anyone and you feel frustrated and stressed. If I were in your place, I would go for some kind of counseling either alone or together with your wife. It will definitely help you and for her to cope too. What I would do is when you feel that bad mood coming on, count to 10, hum a song, turn on the TV, go in another room, think of a good time you and your wife had together and the anger will pass. Or, if you believe in a higher power, call upon The Lord or God, and say to him, "Lord I leave this anger up to you..take it from me, as I do not want to hurt my wife"...Believe me this will help you. The fact that you feel ashamed afterwards shows me that you want help and do truly love your wife. Try these solutions and you will see the anger will pass..Remember is a blessing which we should use wisely..Enjoy and love your wife always. Thank you for asking me for my opinion

You're wife is probably the first person you see or talk to after being irritated. It's not fair to her and you know that, which is a good start. Try venting your stress before you see your wife. Exercise, go for a walk, listen to music, read, take a bath, whatever relaxes you. Just tell her you need 30 minutes to take a time out. She'll most likely understand and you'll both feel better. I don't think it's actually you wife annoying you. Plus, when you do fight with her, you probably know she'll still be there for you tomorrow. Don't take her forgranted. =-)

You need help. Maybe you need to find a counselor to talk to or perhaps a church group. Taking your frustrations out on your wife is wrong..not only are you hurting her, but more than likely she's probably at her wits end with you. Treasure what you have., believe me it's not fun being middle aged and by yourself. You never know what you had until you lose it. And if you love your wife the way you say, you'll be willing to do anything to prove it. Your anger does not justify being cruel and selfish to your wife. She deserves better and you do to. That's why it's imperative you find help to figure out what drives you to do this to her.

Good luck

Why let little things get you angry? She must be miserable and depressed. If someone spits on you then is it really worth it to you to get angry while knowing you will take it out on the one you love? Thicken your skin a little so that the rest of the world cannot annoy everyday, your wife will be much happier.

my fiance does this to me all the time. maybe she is just an easy target for you to relieve your angers from the day. you have a bad day, you come home and see little tiny things she did that are your pet peeves and blow them way outta proportion because you bottle in all your frustrations all day? I don't know if this is whats happening... but I thought I would try... from personal experience.

print this Q u have and show her! ask her she will know u love her and are worried.of this problem u have, she will b the 1 to help u... i stay awy from my bf until he cools off he s the same way u r.he feels terrible afterwards.

You pick on her because she is "safe" for you to pick on - possible you have persons or issues you would like to confront but are afraid to.

I wouls suggest you see a counsellor, possible for anger management.

We're all human.

We tend to pick the things we love the most and use that as whatever

she just annoys u. there re smtimes people who annoy u without any reason. in my life these are my mother and my elder son. they just would sit there doing nothing and already annoy me. however my husband and my other 2 kids never annoy me. whatever they do i am never angry at them. so i guess it's just chemistry. and i love my elder son very much anyway, but it's just smth doesn't click