Marriage advice...for the serious ones only!?

Well love it's not your place to change him, he has to want to change on his own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You were woman enough some time ago to bring things to a head and separate, you can't fall back on financial situation to stay in this dead end relationship! You were a woman first before you were anything else, so allow no man for that matter to take your womanhood and become co-dependent on what he can do for you and your children! Say what you mean, and mean what you say! Gain your self-respect for you and your children and get it together..... Allow him to figure his own destiny with his relationship with you and your children.... Don't be sooooooooo needy because as long as you are healthy willing and able you can do it!!! My advice to you is, don't warn or tell him anything further, there's nothing else I am sure at this point to discuss and I am sure you sound like a broken record! Regroup and set the pathway for your future as gainning your self-respect and womanhood back! Do what you need to do for you and your children without him! Stop living your life in the not knowing and somehow allowing him to make all the decisions and being unhappy and stop you from being the only person that realizes there is a problem, heck he knows, he has the additude of indifference, and guess what let him have the attitude all by himself! Don't allow your children to believe that you can't make it without him, always depend on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God Bless and Good Luck!!!!!!!! But at this point there really isn't anymore advice, me or anyone can give you, you have to want things to happpen for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If divorce is not an option then it leaves no other choice than to stay together. They can either live as room mates or they can try to rekindle their marriage to some extent. This is very common among individuals who have married for a long period of time. I do not know the details so it is hard to give the right suggestions. Couple who gain or lose a child face the most difficult of times in a marriage. If the couple could find a passion that they share and grow from that their lives could change. Sometimes an animal fills the void of a missing child. If it is a change in intimacy there are also many things that can be done to change this issue as well. If marriage counseling is an option I would suggest they go for it. Also mentioned was the Catholic faith, would it be possible for these individuals to go to their priest and discuss their problems. I wish them the best and I hope all works out between the two.

"finances and childerns well being got back together." To very wrong reasons to go back into a relationship. However, I have always been a strong advocate for marriage and kids so here is my only advice and please take heed of it..get the book "The Divorce Remedy" by Michele Weiner Davis. I can assure you, after reading this book, YOu will know what to do for YOU! A lot of peeps will be jugedmental in their answers, I won't. I trust you will try to care for yourself first,,and then the kids and the husband will fall into place. good luck and never give up hope!

This is about the kids. He's not abusive? You dont fight in front of them? Some guys[ and girls] are just that way. When you yell he listens Im sure.

Aside from the kids, Figure if you want and can do better. Tricky! Make yourself happy.

this is very common in marriage either the woman or the man gets comfortable in the marriage and doesn't do the things they once did. Have your tried just focusing on yourself. Going back to college, gym or doing something you have always wanted to do. There are alot of things out there that don't cost much. Sometimes when we take the attention off the guy and sees your having fun and enjoyment anyway. He starts to smarten up. If that doesn't work you will at least have outside interest other than your husband if you have to separate again. Also look at financial books and financial assistance in your town so you don't feel like you have to settle for less just because it is better financially. The reason I say this is because children watch their parents you don't want your children to mimic your life unless it is positive.

If he's not abusive, then don't divorce him!!

Use the free time you have (since he's not communicating with you) to take some classes, join a gym, make new friends, volunteer, etc.

Live your life and try to bring him into it.

It sounds like he's doing the best he can do... so remember, till death do us part!

You've already wasted nine years, why spend another day in what is obviously not a happy situation.

You can't change your husband, that's something only HE can do and has to WANT to do.

Seriously, do you want your kids do grow up in this type of environment? Wouldn't you want them to see you happy so that they know what possibilities of happiness are out there? Get out, don't waste another minute.

Have you ever consider the possibility that he might suffer from depression??? You had a wonderfull husband and now, hes not there?? thats a common sign of depression and he might not even know it. this happens everyday to common people, one night they go the bed happy and the next morning they wake up as zombies and they have no idea why?

think about that possiblity, there are a lot of treatments out there that might help him

good luck

Don't give up yet, have you tried to make special alone time. and for the alone time do something , some activity specifiably for him, and make it a sharing experience with him. It doesn't even have to involve sex . may be a sport event he likes, just you and him together.

It sounds like you've already tried everything.....counseling, separating, leaving, etc....

I think it's time to call that lawyer. It's not healthy (or sane!) for you to remain with this guy just for the sake of your children.

Good luck honey

I don't agree with those who say stay in the marriage...If you have done everything that you can think of to get your husband to plug into your marriage...and nothing has worked...and he reverts back to him old self....you are teaching your kids that it is ok to be in a marriage no matter how unhappy you are....why wait for them to grow up...and ask why didn't you leave their father earlier? Kids deserve to be in a happy home....where BOTH parents are happy, love, and respect one another....not in a home where one is emotionally absent....