What is up with this woman??

Nothing. The woman is a manipulating, controlling *****, and nothing short of telling the woman to FOAD and that the girl NEVER wants to see her or hear from her again is EVER going to stop this abuse. Because THAT is what it is...ABUSE.

If the woman keeps harassing your family and the new couple then a legal restraining order may be in order. Sorry, but that is the nuts & bolts of it. She's a psycho freak.

With a person such as this you need to be forceful yet gentle. Tell her straight out that while she is still her daughter, she now has her own life, her own husband and they are now number one on her list of priorities. Let the mother know that she is still loved, but it's time to loosen the apron strings and allow the little bird to flee the nest.

Reinforce- strongly- that you will stay in contact but not for every move or action taken throughout the day or night.

Parents such as this have a hard time letting go and some times you have to hurt feelings to get the point across. However if you do not the problems will only get worse as the mother will start interfering in everything between the two of them. The boundaries must be set now otherwise the marriage is doomed to fail as a result of an interfering mother-in-law.

She needs to have a talk with her mother and tell her that this is unacceptable behavior (with all due respect). Tell her mother how she honestly feels. Her mother doesn't have to agree with her, but she needs to listen to her daughter and respect her feelings.

If she doesn't stop bad-mouthing the new husband, for example, then she will have to stop seeing them entirely. She should explain to her mother that this would be the last option, that she loves her mother, but boundaries must be respected. (Hopefully, her mother is wise and chooses to respect the boundaries, stop bad-mouthing the husband, and continue the relationship with them.)

Tough love but necessary love.

Perhaps the daughter (your sister-in-law) accepts this behavior from her mother because she is so used to it. Thus, it's hard for her to even EXPLAIN boundaries to her mother because she wants her mother's approval. Nonetheless, it is important to have the conversation as noted previously.

Typically, mothers want what is best for their child; but it cannot be FORCED on the child (who is now an adult), not to mention that it also is not her place to constantly give unwanted, unsolicited feedback to her daughter and/or the new husband. If her mother gets angry, it's because she is either angry or because she feels she is losing control but, again, this is not the daughters problem other than explaining that she (as an adult) can control her own life. She can forgive her mother, yet still insist on respect and courtesy.

first, i will say that it is absolutely fine for a parent to expect their children to call when they are out - i checked in with my parents all the time. they just wanted to make sure i was safe and wasn't getting into trouble, and i love them for that (even though i hated it at the time).

HOWEVER...she is 18 and she is married now. she doesn't answer to her parents anymore, she is responsible for herself and her husband. any contact and updates she gives her mother are completely her decision. she and her husband need to sit her mother down and tell her that - she does not answer to them anymore. give her a limit on how often to call, and if she goes over the limit, don't answer (and on her honeymoon??? i would have answered and said, "mom, i'm having sex, i'll call you when i get home" - embarrass her). that's all you can do, and unfortunately there is nothing that you can do about what she says about your brother. but, people like that always show their true colors and don't really fool people. others will see that she is a meddling and controlling mother-in-law who can't mind her own business. she is making herself look like an a ss, not your brother.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Arguing about the situation will only fuel the fire of her wanting to control your sister in law. It will take a lot of will power on her part, but long enough of not giving the mother what she wants and she will eventually take a hint. Many mothers feel like their child's spouse has "stolen" them away. She is doing this to make herself feel that she still has a handle on her "little girl". Once your sister in law and brother show her that they are the only people in control of their life she will back off a little.

They need to sit her down and explain that your brother is not stealing her daughter. Her daughter is 18 years old and officially an adult, able to make her own decisions and live her own life. She no longer has to check in with her mother every hour, and she can go on vacation without being hounded with calls.

Also explain to her that she is not being pushed out of her daughter's life. She is still loved, but she should give her daughter room to grow and start her own family.

WHAT CAN THEY SAY TO HER WITHOUT FURTHER PISSING HER OFF, THAT WILL GET IT THROUGH HER HEAD?????????

Nothing. This woman is whacko. Nothing anybody says or does is going to change that. She is a control freak and when a control freak loses control they get scared. The mother is scared sh!tless and doesn't know what to do. You can't help her. Your brother and his new wife will figure this out on their own. Don't trouble yourself with it. It's not your problem and you can't solve it anyway. It'll just have to work out and it'll take time.

she needs to sit with her mom and hand over the marriage certificate..meaning.. she has a new life and needs to take care of that ....Her mom might feel she will be left out of what is going on.. I think from being called at all times of the day from not getting many or no calls at all.. I think she just misses her daugher and does not knw how to express but to be mean ...etc. All can be fixed and every1 happy with a conversation.

first off when the girl turned 18 her mom has no say anymore. second the daughter needs to step forward and tell her mom to back off, she needs to let her daughter grow up sometime, third shes married, the mom has no right at all to get pissed, it is none of her business what the couple does.

If they CHOOSE to answer her calls then it's partially their fault. All it takes is caller ID, and when the phone rings they check who it is and either answer or allow voicemail to get the call. Or they can get an answering machine that will allow them to turn their phone ringer off, they can either turn the answer machine volumne where it can't be heard or it can be and they can decide whether to pick up the call or not. The only way someone can truly "bother" you is if you ALLOW them to do so.