Any good clean jokes for Me Today?

Leaving Money

A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, "In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they’ll have something to spend over there."

They all agreed that this was appropriate. The banker dropped a hundred dollar bill into the casket, and the car salesman did the same. The lawyer took out the bills and wrote a check for $300.

Sorry I only Know 2 jokes that are clean and they are blonde jokes.

Blonde Joke no 1

A little girl runs out of her school, one day shouting, " Mummy mummy! Today we learnt about number! And everyone else learnt 1,2,3,4,5,

But i learnt 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Is it cos im blond mummy! is it cos im blond!!"

The mother replies " Yes dear, its because your blond."

The next day the same girl runns out of school and shouts at her mother "Mummy mummy!! Today we learnt about the alphabet! But everyoneelse onlu learnt A,B,C,D,E,F,G, But I learnt A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K!, Is it cos im Blonde mummy!! Is it cos im blonde!"

"Yes dear, its because your blonde."

The next day the same girl came out of school and shouted at her mother " Mummy mummy!! Today we went swimming! But all the other girls, were flat-chested, But look Mummy im not!!(chuckes her boobs into her mums face) Is it cos im blonde mummy!! Is it cos im blonde!!"

" No dear, its because your 23"

Blonde Joke no 2.

A blonde is short of money so she decides to wait after school, and kidnapp a child. So she waits at her old school and sucessfully kidnapps a child, then she pinns a note to his shirt which says:

"GiMmE £10,000 oR i WiLl KeEp

YoUr cHiLd HoStAgE, PuT tHe

PuT tHe mOnEy BeHiNd tHe

sWiNgS In tHe HoLe iN tHe

TrEe, Do ThIs By SuNdOwN

tOmOrRo Or tHe ChIlD GeTs iT!

BlOnDe GiRl"

Then she sends the child home to its parents, with the note pinned to its shirt.

The next day the blonde checks the tree, and sure enough the money was there! But it had a note to ot on it it said:

HoW cOuLd yOu Do tHiS To

A fElLoW BlOnDe!!!!

BlOnDe MuM

Please can you help me and answer this question:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsdU7...

Why did little Mary put on her best dress at 11:45 PM Saturday night ?

Answer:

(.ssam thgindim ot gniog saw ehS)

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Sorry everyone for such a lame joke , but it was clean !!