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MUSLIMS: Are we kind and obedient to our parents as the Quran n beloved Prophet Muhammad, has taught?
This is what Quran says, to be kind towards out beloved parents :
"Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour." [Quran 17:23]
In Islam, it is obligatory for us to show kindness, respect, and obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. In fact, kindness and obedience is so strongly emphasized that Allaah has linked showing gratitude to one's parents with showing gratitude to Allaah. In the Noble Quran, Almighty Allaah Says (which means):
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) return." [Quran 31:14]
Sadly, we are living in a time where children speaking disrespectfully to their parents and about their parents, is the norm rather than the exception. However, Islam places great emphasis on respectful and considerate behaviour to even our enemies, so to not uphold the obligations laid down by Allaah to our parents is actually one of the major sins.
In the Quran
Let's see what the Quran says about parents. "This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allaah." [Quran 2:02]
Treat parents with honour and speak to them graciously and with humility
Allaah Says (which means):
"Your Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." [Quran 17:23]
Be grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you associate anything with Allaah
Allaah also Says (which means):
"...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, then will I inform you of what you did." [Quran 31:15]
These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents, appreciate their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for them. This is required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.
Be good to parents and everyone whom you meet
The Quran states (which means):
"Worship Allaah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allaah loves not the arrogant, the vainglorious." [Quran 4:36]
If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger, then how can we even think of disrespecting our parents?
Hadeeth
Let's see what Prophet Muhammad said about parents in the authentic Hadeeth (narrations). Almighty Allaah Says (which means): "Whatsoever the Prophet gives you, take it and whatsoever he forbids you, refrain from it." [Quran 59:7]
Undutifulness to parents is a major sin
Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (the Prophet) observed: 'Associating anyone (or anything) with Allaah, undutifulness to parents, killing a person and false utterance.' [Muslim]
One of the dearest deeds to Allaah is being good and dutiful to parents
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas'ood narrated: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to Allaah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" [Al-Bukhaari]
Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise
Abu Hurayrah reported Prophet Muhammad as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: O Allaah's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who accompanies either of his parents during their old age or one of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by being undutiful to them). [Muslim]
Acts of kindness we can do for our parents after their death
A man of the tribe of Salamah came to Prophet Muhammad and said: 'O Apostle of Allaah! Is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death?' He replied: 'Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, fulfill their promises and pledges (to do righteous deeds), maintain ties with kinfolk for the mere reason of being dutiful to them (i.e. parents), and honour their friends.' [Abu Daawood]
The High Status given to Mothers
A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to fight Jihaad. The Prophet asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied affirmatively, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet (i.e. she is the way leading to it)." [Ahmad]
Summary
Sometimes we may take our parents for granted and overlook their importance. As Muslims, we should constantly be alert to guard ourselves from sins; however, are we guarding ourselves from one of the biggest major sins? Are we honouring and respecting our parents as per their right? Or are we neglecting one of the dearest deeds to Allaah?
Right now the choice is ours!
We ask Allaah the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that which will benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn.
14 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
alsalamo alikom
thanks for posting great questions
as for me i am trying to be good to them as much as i can
may Allah bless us all
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
great post!!!
I try my best to obey my mother even though she is Christian and I am Muslim sometimes its hard to because we both have different views but I do help her as much as possible and Allah knows im intetntions and the only thing I do disobey her on is when she wants me to do things against Allah other then that I try my best to follow as Allah wants and Allah rewards us if we are patient even if our parents don't deserve respect.
I think that a lot of kids now days disobey there parents maybe because of where they are for example in the west alot of kids show no respect and they want to fit it with the western culture, if you compare it to the Muslim countries there parents are priority 1 and are taken care of or some kids are just disobedient.
there is also a hadith that states.
the prophet said (SAW) "One who cuts off his family ties does not enter the Garden of Paradise
Source(s): Muslimah! - 1 decade ago
I have tried so hard to be obiedent to my parents... but i must admit sometimes its every hard..
My parents are immagrants and dont know much about american society.. They dont understand., so wen uwe try to make them understand we just get in alot of arguements..
I dont want to disrespect me parents, i just want them to see that immigrant living in the US is a hard thing, They think it is simple... but that is because they havent been here or understood...
I am a muslim teenager in america and i have many temptations as u must kno... but i try so hard to stop from sinning... but my parents make it sooo much harder on me..
I love my parents and would give my life to them.. they have put me in a place where i can flourish and grow..
alhamdulillah they r still with me today...
Yallah, Jasak Allah khair =))
- ?Lv 71 decade ago
Thanks for such an informative Question ,
Alhamd o lillah most of we Muslims do respect our parents ,
Yes mostly it is not up to the mark ,
May Allah help us all Muslims to respect our parents as Allah(SWT) and Muhammad(PBUH) taught us ,
As Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) have told us ,
"YOUR PARADISE IS BENEATH YOUR MOTHER"S FEET"
and ,
"IF YOUR FATHER IS PLEASED WITH YOU , GOD IS PLEASED WITH YOU ,
BUT ,
"IF YOUR FATHER IN ANGRY WITH YOU THAT MAKES GOD ANGRY WITH YOU"
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- 1 decade ago
Good reminder again. well done. May Allah reward you with Jannah tul firdous. Ameen
- 1 decade ago
Yeah well what if the parents are no good and don't deserve respect: untrustworthy, deceitful, and dishonest? Just because they are parents does not grant them the right to respect. Decent people who earn respect will receive respect.
- 1 decade ago
Thankyou for posting this.I am going to show it to my oldest son.(haha).Eid Mubarak inshAllah!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Children (Sons and Daughters)
It is the foremost duty of parents to arrange for proper maintenance, right type of education, and good training of their children so that they grow satisfactorily, develop their potential, express their abilities, become virtuous human being, a good citizen, and an ideal member of the society, and thereby should contribute to the society significantly. It is the responsibility of the parents and the State to provide opportunities to children for their development, and these basic requirements should not be denied to them out of fear of want (destination) (6:152, 17:31). Children should be maintained on lawful earnings. Persons who kill their children foolishly and out of ignorance, they are big losers, and on account of this they have to face a serious disaster (6:141). Becoming careless towards children is as worse as killing them; depriving them of education and training is a grave mistake (17:31). A healthy, well built, and wholesome child is a gift of Allah (7:189-90). A thoughtful, pious, and loving heart contained by him, a follower of Divine laws and broad-minded child is a great blessing of the Almighty (19:12-14).
Children include boy as well as girls, and both are born according to the Divine laws. During the pre-Islamic period (and even today) boys were considered superior to girls receiving better treatment accordingly. Islam has abolished this mentality. This attitude has been very much condemned by the Quran (16:58-59).
Care and welfare of family members should receive due attention; wife and children are made attractive to man (3:13), but for their sake one should not involve him into such activities which are against the permanent values. One who disregards permanent values becomes envious rather enemy to man (64:14-15). Whenever there is clash between permanent values and interests of the family, the Quranic values should always be upheld (9:24). Total home atmosphere maintained by the parents plays very important role in building up character of children and this create significant impact on them. Character of children gets moulded under good home-atmosphere and parents have to be very cautions and careful in maintaining it. At no point of time the children should be neglected.
Children’s education is a matter of prime importance. Education is of two types-deeni taleem (religious education) to get acquainted with the Quranic teachings; and the modern scientific and technological education for economic growth and development. These two types of education imparted make the children a good member of the family as well as an ideal citizen in the society, and thus they contribute significantly to the nation and the country. It is the responsibility of the State not to leave the children at the mercy of their parents, particularly in case of those parents who are not capable to provide proper maintenance, care and education to their children on account of their property.
Parents
Parents’ role in the family is most significant particularly when the children are small; they will be usually under the care, training, and maintenance of their parents for certain period of time, and they have to follow instructions given by them. Children should be good and faithful to parents, but as far obedience is concerned it is only to Allah (4:36). The quality of physical and mental strength gets obscured at the old age, and this is the stage at which parents need help of their children and they have to be well looked after. But possible treatment should be rendered to them, and this kind of treatment makes one’s own self to grow and develop (46:15). Parents have taken maximum possible care for rearing their children and they had given full protection to them at infancy stage. On account of the old age, sometimes the attitude of the parents becomes abnormal. Their temperament becomes childish. At this moment one should not behave with them indifferently by banging, scolding, or giving erratic treatment. While referring of the permanent values and the treatment ordained to be given tot he parents the Quran has given beautiful instructions when it says:
"For the betterment of life therefore, Allah has prescribed some permanent values including:
(i) You should obey only Allah’s laws.
(ii) You should make good the deficiencies of your old parents.
(iii) If one or both of them grow old, you should not prod or reproach them but speak to them respectfully (36:68),
iv) You should give them protection with all the affection and say "O my Rabb ! (Enable me) to provide them means of nourishment as they had raised me from childhood.
You should do all this, not in a mechanical manner but from the core of your heart keeping always in mind that what you do for your parents helps in the development of your own self. Allah is the Protector of those who revert to Him for His protection." (17:23-25)
It should be remembered that caring for the young ones is done by all living beings, which they forget afterwards but caring for the old parents is the quality of man alone. One should not forget that the mother bears pain while carrying as well as giving birth to a baby and showering after-care with utmost and affections, and sacrificing every thing at least for thirty months (46:15).
It has been stated earlier that obedience is for Allah alone (17:23), and this means following of the Divine laws. On the other hand as far the parents are concerned, they should be given best possible treatment and respect, and also their deficiencies are removed.
It is the responsibility of the State to see that old parents are not left to lead a miserable and disrespectful life with their children, and this way their (the parents’) self does not get dishonoured.
- 1 decade ago
I have a fish named muhammad he doesn't talk back. I don't think creating life is socially responsible at this point. I always wondered why people have children, obviously for there own benefit.
