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Kristi A asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Should i feel guilty...family Christmas issues???

Mother and I have had a rocky relationship since i was a baby. She has always treated me like crap and never been there for me. But no matter what i have always been there for her. She has always treated me as if i wasnt her daughter though. So up until 6 months ago i still listened to her and respected her even though her advise was always wrong and distorted because shes always high on weed or zanxes. Anyways to make a long story short 6 months ago she told me to stay out of her life. I did until thanksgiving i made an effort and baked her a few of her favorite pies and dropped them off. I invited her to my daughters b-day party and she said she was busy. She didnt call say happy birthday or anything. The day before was her other grand babys b-day and she gave her money, bought gifts, and a cake for her. BUt doesnt do anything for my daughter. Now shes always treated me like crap and i still buy her gifts and give her money etc. I dont want to this year should i feel guilty, im tired

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just because a person is your parent does not make them a good person or a positive addition to your life. It sounds like you have gone above and beyond. It sounds like your Mom has some serious personal issues with drugs and drug addicts only care about one thing: drugs. Until your Mom gets help and gets clean and sober, she can never be the Mother you long for and even then she may not be.

    As painful as it is for your best interest and the best interest of your child, you need to move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    Family is often the first obstacle to overcome.

    Cut her off. Quit calling her or giving her stuff. Don't feel guilty.

    You are effectively an orphan.

    Your mom has apparently convinced herself that you are the family abattoir... at least she didn't lock you in a closet and feed you breadcrusts for years.

    Consider using EFT to help release all the hurt, anger and abandonment issues.

    Source(s): http://www.emofree.com/ This is the website for the Emotional Freedom Technique... download the FREE manual... instruction in the actual technique starts around page 20. It really works on releasing all sorts of stress, trauma, pain and whatever. The website also has a searchable database.
  • Leaf
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Stop feeling guilty and cut the cord the rest of the way. This woman obviously has nothing to offer you emotionally so instead of making yourself feel bad over her, move on. I'm sorry this has happened to you but I do think you would be better off.

  • 1 decade ago

    dont let this eat you up!!! let her know the door is open but move on. it she wants to connect she will but in the mean time concentrate on the positive relationships in your life. had a similar prob with motherinlaw. i let it bother me for years until i realised the loss was hers not mine and walked away! good luck!!

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  • atbkkj
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    no as long as you allow this behavior then she will continue to treat you this way! also you decide how people treat you so dont let her do to you or your precious children anymore be civil to her but dont go out of your way

  • 1 decade ago

    no dont feel guilty dont associate with her

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