Is anyone childfree by choice?

I'm 41, childfree, been married 13 years. People pretty much leave me alone after the initial questions:

Them: "How many kids do you have?"

Me: "None."

Them: "Why not?"

Me: "They don't interest me. I have other things to do." And I mean it. I don't participate in conversations about children or babies, I have nothing to contribute and I find the conversation excruciatingly boring. (Of course, I feel the same way about sports.) I have been known to get up and walk out while everyone else is discussing kids.

The thing I have discovered is that if someone asks you about kids and you say, "Wellll, noooo," and seem unsure of yourself, they will pounce on you and tell you you're selfish, you haven't experienced real love, what if your parents thought that way, you're immature (my personal favorite--not!)blah blah blah. I let people do that to me when I was younger, then I finally figured out the best thing to do was tell them in a tone that leaves no room for discussion: "Nope. Don't want them."

As for "You'll change your mind," I always told them, "Come see me in ten years." There were a couple people who bugged me nonstop that I actually took the trouble to look up after several years and say, "See? I'm not changing my mind." Petty? Sure. Satisfying? Absolutely. :-)

I'm not childless by any means and I never would have chosen to be, but my husband and I have friends who are. They have been married now for about 10 years. Everyone knows their choice and have all grown to accept it. If someone does ask they tell them that they chose to have it that way because they want to be able to just up and go somewhere. They don't want to be tied down with the responsibilty of having kids. If people are patronizing anyone for not having kids thats wrong. Me personally I would probably just respond to the "oh you'll change your mind" by saying "Hey you know maybe you're right, but as of now I choose to not have a child." or just say "not that it's any of your buisness how I chose to live my life, but IF I do change my mind I will make sure you are the first one to call." You really don't owe anyone an answer ever it's your life not theirs. You can always just nod and smile too.

My wife and I waited 5 years. We live in Utah where families are really a big deal and most have children in the first year or so. We decided to not have children until we got older, out of college and so forth. We spent so long together alone that we weren't sure we wanted kids. We were asked every day when we were having kids as if we were losing some type of race. Everyone thought we had to do what they did. I guess misery loves company. The reason that I really wanted to have kids is because I wanted to prove that I could be a better parent than most of them. Now that our first is on the way you cant believe how excited we are.

No one should run your life. I know a woman who has never been married or had kids. She is past the age to do so. She has regrets but a lot of it is that you always want what others have especially if you cant have it. It is totally your choice but who will care for you when you are old, and will you completely cease to exist once you die? Maybe so, Just something to think about.

I was for a long time. I have not had any biological children. But when I got married my husband had a son from a previous marriage. If he didn't already have him, I would likely remain without a child. (too old now anyway).

And yes, I heard all of that.

When I responded, I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Could be, but not likely, it probably wouldn't be in the best interest of the child. Or society" I really didn't let it get to me. I found it fairly easy to ignore. Meaning just as often, I would simply not answer or respond to their part of the conversation.

I am in my mid-fourties now, and we've been married just over 6 yrs. Even when we got married, the third year into it people were asking that very thing. I had my standard response but I also was able to add, "I am too old, I wouldn't want to jeapordize the health of a baby." Finally people have quit asking for the most part, I still get the occasional query, but then I tell them my age and they say "Oh..."... but now it's "Why didn't you ever have any kids of your own?" GROAN

Whether a woman chooses to be childless or just can't have any, people should keep their mouths shut on the matter but since they won't, be politely rude - smile as you tell them that when you had the sex change operation, they told you - kids wouldn't be an option!

Before my sister got her son, people would ask her in casual conversation if she had kids, she said no and they asked why!!! How nervy - so she made up some wild tale about why she didn't have any children and that puts them in their place for even asking or saying such a idiotic thing!

Then I carried a child for my sister and she had people asking her if she is going to have any "real" children. Her son breathes, eats, talks, poops & pees, gives her gray hairs just like any other child does.

When people say that to her she says that she thought about getting a real child cuz this one went thru so many batteries!

I don't know why society can't believe that a woman would be happy w/o children - sometimes mine make me realize why animals eat their young!

My husband and I are child-free by choice, we have been together for 11 years. The family started asking when we were going to have children after we graduated college, both obtained careers, and bought our own home. They no longer ask because we have bluntly told them that it is our choice not to have them, and unless they want to be a permanent babysitter, and provide all of the financial support that it is none of their concern. When confronted with the "change your mind in the future speech", we tell them that they may be right because nobody can tell the future, this is how we currently feel, and IF in fact we do change our mind, we will provide an update.

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Yes, child free by choice, married for 2 years. We also get the questions. People automactically assume that you are selfish and don't want to get fat or go through labor. Yes, that's part of it, but mostly i just don't want to be responsible for another human when life is hard enough as it is. So I usually say that I have issues from my childhood that have led me to that decision. Doesn't matter if it's all true or not. I shouldn't have to explain the MANY reasons to every person that asks.

Oh yea, I know plenty of people who chose not to have children for different reasons.

My uncle never had kids because he never really wanted them. He was never in a relationship either where he would have wanted them. His first wife had four from a previous marriage and his second wife was in her late 40s when they married (she was a bit older than him).

Also, some people just prefer their careers to a family. I think it's good though - at least they know they don't want children instead of having them and treating them like they are unwanted.

I'm not one of those childless by choice people (I love kids!) but I can understand why some wouldn't want any.

I am. I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. I'm 21 and she's 23. They ask when we're going to have kids, that'll never change. No one ever tells me I'll change my mind as I'm pretty firm on the fact that I do not kids right now or any time in the next 5-8 years.

I want to be secure financially before I have a child. I don't need to put my child in poverty because I'm too young to provide for.

Regards,

Brandon