Would you go to the funeral? My in-laws have a friend whose daughter has been a heroin addict for the last 15?

Wow! That is a very hard thing you are dealing with! This man was a friend of yours; it is YOU who needs to say goodbye. You don't have to acknowledge his mother at all. Just keep in mind that no matter how lousy she was as a mother, she loved her son. I know it sounds crazy; but trust me. I see it all the time. These people truly don't mean to kill the ones they love, they mostly want "company" in their own sickness. (Don't want to get high alone and so on). It's hard to accept. You blame her. She is blaming herself now too, most likely. (hopefully) If you do choose to talk to her; you may say something like..."I loved your son. He was my friend. What happened to him needs to be seen and this type of behavior stopped. I am donating to the NA (or other drug treatment program in your area) to help other people with addiction problems instead of flowers." Maybe she will hear your message. Better yet, put it in a card as well for her to read later. My best to you and your family, dear. I am sorry for your loss! Nana

Obviously you know the family circumstances better than me, but the way I understand it you don't know for sure that it was the kid's mother who actually introduced him to it.

Just because she was a user doesn't mean she encouraged her son to use.

But I think you should go either way, for him. Just try and give his mother as much space as you can while you're there if you're worried about it.

Best wishes

The police, even judges!! go easier on individuals they feel are .....vulnerable. I was an Iranian, living in the U.S during 1980's! I ALWAYS got off easier because I had an accent - even in high school. As for her addiction - it can be kicked with Methadone - with NO DISCOMFORT AT ALL

She still lost her son....even if she was the one that introduced him to it. You can keep your conversation short and civil, give her your sorrow for everybodies loss. You should be there out of respect for him though.

if i was asked to attend yes. youre honoring the dead and being a sympathetic presence for those who cared about the person. such a shame.