Thinking about having a surprise wedding-thoughts??

Seriously, I think this sounds AWESOME!!!!!

You should do it and try as hard as you can to keep it a secret from everyone, though maybe you should clue your parents in, especially if you tell his dad, they might take a bit of offense to not be let in on the secret ahead of time.

I hope you decide to go through with it, it sounds like so much fun!

I think that sounds awesome! If more of my friends and family lived nearby and didn't have to make special plans to be able to be in town, I would likely do the same thing!

One recommendation, though--you might not want to send the invites out a full 2 months ahead of time. If you do that, and it's not the norm for your parties, people might get suspicious. If people are in town, a month should be plenty of time for the average party. If they are out of town, then maybe send just those invites a little earlier.

I think the only downside is that some people who have other semi-important obligations might choose to attend another function, not realizing that they will be missing your wedding. But I think the surprise wedding will help get rid of tons of stress and expense, which would be great. There's no way the wedding gifts you would receive at a traditional wedding would make up for the added cost of hosting that type of an event. Good luck!

I photographed a surprise wedding last July 4th. It worked out great, most guests had no idea until they got there that it was a wedding. Of course, this couple had a decorated archway set up in the backyard that sort of gave it away in the end. They had invited people to a bar-b-que, the decor was red/white/blue Americana, along with firefighters. (The groom is a volunteer fireman.) The closed the evening with fireworks. That's one way to say for sure that you saw fireworks on your wedding night!

One thing they had to contend with was making sure the people they REALLY wanted to be there were actually planning to attend. It sounds like your RSVP will take care of that.

You may have a few extra expenses not associated with a party. The dress, cake, and photography come to mind. But otherwise the party decor can be the wedding decor. Have fun, it sounds like a great idea.

An inexpensive luau is a great idea for a wedding, but I wouldn't go the surprise route. There will be people who would very much want to be at your wedding, but may skip a luau. They just might not make the effort to come to that party that they would to your wedding, and then later both you and they will be disappointed that they missed it. I say tell people it's a casual luau-themed wedding. Best wishes. It sounds like fun!

I think it sounds like a great idea. I would suggest making it an Engagement- Special Event Luau party. I would use special event in it or something like this to get everyone thinking.... hmmmmmmmm. lol. I would get nice invitations to make it look a little more formal so people feel like it is going to be a "Special Event" and it will set the scene for you. Also suggest what attire should be worn for the guests. Please dress sharply in your best Hawaiian attire. Guests would like heads up on how to dress so they don't come too casual and look a bit scruffy on your big day.

You want guest to feel that this is not going to be just another party that they are attending but something special so they don't pass it up. Many people don't show for house parties but do show up for weddings so it is important that you make it known that it is more than a house party.

I would suggest going to a place that makes up wedding invites and get some ideas for the party invitation. Your guests might think 'something is up' with such nice invites .... and not want to miss it!

Good luck!

I think its a great idea! Also, you might want to call it an Engagement Party/Luau. That way you might be assured that more people would attend since it isn't just a regular old party. You know? The only thing would be if you've got friends with kids who might not find a sitter for just a regular party, but would make the effort if they knew it was something special. Just an idea! Have fun, sounds great!

It sounds to me like you have everything thought of. I absolutely love the whole idea…except the surprise part. The only reason why is that if as you say you don’t have that much money, this wedding (and I hope I don’t sound mean) will be a great way to raise some cash. If you give people notice ahead of time they can come over with something that can be helpful towards saving money.

Another reason why I wouldn’t make it a surprise is for pictures. A lot of people may show up in some attire that wouldn’t necessarily make for a beautiful wedding album. It’ll be nice to give them some sort of direction. They don’t have to wear an evening gown but they shouldn’t come in a pair of daisy dukes with a cut-off shirt, you know.

Otherwise, love, love, love the idea.

Do you mean a surprise wedding for the guests or for the groom? If it is a surprise for the guests I think that's a wonderful idea, I love the idea of the hog roast and party, and the luau will be fun, a really nice relaxed "theme" for a wedding.

I love the idea! Sounds wonderful to me, everyone will be relaxed and enjoy your day very much. Also by surprising everyone you are reducing your stress from all the unwanted input durning planning and also reducing your guests stress at finding a dress (or outfit) to wear and buying a gift. I don't know that I'd send the invites that early, you might tip someone off to it being a wedding. If you are just doing BBQ the exact headcount isn't going to matter so much as it would for a sit down dinner. I hope you decide to do it and I wish you much luck in planning! Congrats!

That sounds like a nice idea.

You could also let people know about it. My mom and her husband did a small backyard wedding. There was maybe 30 of us there. We did it after dinner and just had a small buffet and some cake afterwards. We actually combined the wedding with a few birthday celebrations too. It worked out great.