How do you discipline?

You MUST get the other adults in the home on board. FIRST AND FOREMOST! Do not tolerate it when they give in to him after you have said no. Sit down with your grandparents and discuss with them what you need from them to help. Have your child sit with you at the end of that meeting and let him know: if he asks them after you have said not, it is still no. You will remove whatever it is that he asked for and received behind your back.

For the crying and tantrums: put him in his room. If you are going to scream- you may scream in your room. Walk away. Discuss with him what you expect after he is finished. Have him help you to make whatever it is he did right again.

School: We do not hit. NO TV, games, outside if he has a bad day. Build him up with rewards for good days: a trip to the park, a trip to McDonalds, etc. Work on extending this: 3 good days equals a trip to the park, etc.

Once there is consistancy all around, he will come around...but it is going to be difficult before that.

We don't use spankings here. I am a teacher and cannot spank at school. I work in a rough area and have many discipline issues in the beginning, in time, with consistency, love, rewards, and consequences, they turn around- EVERY TIME. You can discipline without spanking.

At home and at school- when I remove something, they must earn it back to have it. They do so by making good choices. At school, I would not have him earn it back after one good day, but 2. He is old enough to know the choices he makes have consequences. You MUST explain to him what he did and what he needs to do right the next time in order to avoid issues next time. It works. I have a child with ADHD who is unmedicated and he is much, much better with the above put into place- so much so his mom has come to write down ideas to implement at home.

Consistency=Key

Get the grandparents on board as well.

Good luck to you!

All adults in the home should know your expectations. When your child calls names, warn him that he will get a favorite toy taken away. You must ALWAYS follow through with your threats. (So do the other adults in the house.) If he hits someone, warn him that another toy will be taken away. Take it away for about a week. If he shows you that he has earned the toy back, then give it back and explain to him why he is getting it back. Keep doing that and he'll figure out that he needs to behave.

Sticker charts work good. He gets a sticker for behaving or doing something to help out, gets one taken away for misbehaving/hitting/calling names, once he gets however many you decide on he gets a reward or prize. Do not hit back, you cannot teach a child not to hit if you hit him. Also tell him why calling names is not acceptable, and that it hurts feelings. Explain it to him. Lots of praise for good behavior, make a huge deal out of it. Sometimes kids just need some cool down time, so he starts whining/misbehaving, put him on his bed and tell him to rest for a bit, once a child gets a little more rest even if its just 30 minutes, they usually feel better/ behave better, sometimes they are just tired.

Ok now the number 1 thing you dont do to a child is do any hand movements on him ( hitting spanking ect. ) He will learn from you and start doing it when he is older. I would try sitting him down and showing him that that is wrong to hit.