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Customer Support JOKE! REALLY FUNNY!?
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, d__n it!
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah................... thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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And last but not least:....
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
If you don't read it, don't bother posting. God...
21 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Oh the stories I could tell in my 20+ years of customer support.
It really amazes me that people are even able to get themselves dressed in the morning.
- 1 decade ago
Lol... I know a good one, but it's actually a true story so:
Customer support: Hello how can I help you?
Client:Hi my computer is not working
CS: what do you have on your screen?
C:Nothing, I was typing with that little blinky thing and then the screen went black
CS: Try moving your mouse, can you see it moving
C: I can't see it
CS: I see, ok I need you to check whether there is a loose connection in the cable that connects your computer to the screen
C: How do I do that?
CS: Feel around at the back of the screen and see if the cable is securely connected
C: I can't reach it
CS: Ok, then look at the back of the screen there's a cable there
C: I can't see it, it's too dark, there's no light in my room
CS: Could you take it next to a window so that you can see better?
C: There's no light in the street either
CS: Why is there no light in the street?
C: Because we had a power failure
CS: I see, ok then please take the packaging of the computer and pack the computer up and bring it back to our stores
C: Oh my is it that serious? And what shall I tell them?
CS: Tell them you're too f***ing stupid to own a computer!
The support guy was fired, poor guy, but who can blame him for having such a reaction?
Lol
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I can't even doubt the validity of these as I believe they have all occured at some time or place...probably most originating from my mom's house.
Source(s): ;-) - Anonymous1 decade ago
i like the one about the computer cant find the printer
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
i hat u so much 4 posting a largeass joke
- 1 decade ago
Those are hilarious!!! Are they real calls? If so ppl are so stupid these days.... u get a star *!!!!
