I give up. Shall I just leave 'answers.yahoo' or tell why I go? Who cares?

I like Tamara's answer in regards to one's attitude, that as long as one is relating to oneself and responding to what presents then this is the best one can do and will have the greatest effect to change the world. So I keep my focus on myself, and try to respond creative, beyond my old ways of responding. Trying new things and not getting stuck in repeating loops, and regurgitating old known wisdoms i've learned is key for me. I know frustration does come for me, when I have expections to get a result and my energy is blocked or I feel thwarted with my intention. This however doesn't mean that I don't keep trying to make connections, and still have the desire to have an effect and am interested in most efficient use of my time.

I understand that you are more concerned with this as you come more near to the conclusion of this life, and then this might rise the level of desperation you might feel to make an effect.

I look too at what I'm doing here in answers and come to the conclusion, that mainly it's a diversion for me, it's not very effective use of my time. I recently left a mailing group i was in because the owner lambasted me with all her ego accusations of me, painting me into all kinds of boxes of her interpretation. Then i knew that I now had a reputation and all knew me as she painted me and as she is a guru with students, then all the students respect her viewpoint. There was no choice but to leave the group, knowing that anything else i posted would get further critique from the owner and if I were to truly respond to what she was saying then she would kick me out.

I know that what I'm expressing is not being accepted by hardly anyone. there are no responses to my website, or very rarely. the more I express what I truly feel, then the more I get painted as being this or that. People like to point out differences and to see the negatives or where we don't agree. people agree with the similarities, then when they encounter a difference, then they tell you where you are wrong. This shoudl be the point where people start to communicate, why you see it like this, or what is our difference, to go into it. but that doesn't happen, differences are points of departure and reasons to fight, this is what keeps all of our precious structure intact.

I see there is a need for a communications space in the internet that has no owner, like the newsgroups. I checked that today and it looks like it is still not operational for the masses. Will this ever happen, a space like this, given the need of owners of resources to control the space? Probably not, there will always be somebody to censure you or paint you as crazy if you find a way to freely express yourself.

Yet, then I imagine myself in a group like this, and then it takes even more energy to follow the threads and keep up the written conversation and then my experience is that in one to one, the resistance factor is even higher. and shorlty in exchanges you eventually get a reputation, the group interprets what you are, and then you can't get past that image. So in effect, i think all internet exchanges via written word - email, forums, mailing lists, answers, newsgroups, etc., are a waste of time because of the innate problem of personality. I think only when real-time video exchange is developed in non-owned space would it be effective, which could be many years down the road. So the answer keeps coming back to me, the best is to write a book or to make a video. In this you have free expression and nobody owns you and can prevent you from speaking. I think most effective for you at this point in your life would be to make books, make then good, edit them and organized and clear, put all your energy into that, then distribute it as widely as you can. Now i don't say this because it's a way to make money, that has nothing to do with it. It's that people who are looking for certain informatoin, then you trust will find it, and in a book form or video, people are alone with it, and thus are more receptive to receive it. They've asked something, they have your material in your hands as a possible answer to their question. They are not distracted by others in a group, nor are jockeying for position to be best or smartest in their replies, etc.

I think everyone has a book or two in them, and it's good to make them as a conclusion of your lifes experiences, to share yourself that way. A well written book or well made video can go on long after you are no longer here. little articles and posts in answers forums and mailing lists, probably will get lost and more likely to disappear over time. then there is also so much work to collect them all and organize them or make web pages out of these peices. put it all into one place that can be distributed in one piece. perhaps then a venture now and then into the internet for inspiration.

a question comes: how come spiritual people don't inspire each other, in the creative dance? Is it that there are no real spiritual people? Or nobody sees that there is another one like them? This still intrigues me, why creativity is not more widely expressed, but rather what there is around in spiritual circles seems to be mostly intellectually repeated wisdoms the person has acquired.

I have withdrawn from all mailing lists, and now consider withdrawing from here as well. Yet, i do think this is one of the most open forums, in that there are more people here asking questions than in other places. in the other lists when one person asks a question, then everyone pounces on it, coming out of the woodwork. so I know there is an innate desire to answer questions, to help others. I don't think it's too hard to find good questions here, it depends upon the kind one wants to answer - if one is looking too much for a particular type, then it can be like finding a needle in a haystack. there are people on many different levels of their path asking questions here. you can feel these questions for their truth, they pop out at you. when you answer back from your heart, then you have used your energy in a loving way, not needing confirmation for it. This we can do all day long and everywhere, not just here.

I think to keep working here, it would be helpful for me to only have contacts that agree to work together, to only star questions which are essential ones found. then with a network like that one could log in and find good q's much quicker, as people would be working together.

In regards to the physical questions and not losing energy, I've found the best thing is to simplify, the less stuff I have the less I have to deal with. This is on all levels: people, places and things. 'Giving up' is a good place to start anything new.

Betsy

PS: If it's any consolation for you, I still haven't located anyone here or in the whole internet as creative as you. So I see I still have a need to read things which give me inspiration, but there isn't much of that around. Mostly everything just seems so intellectual, everything is so well known.

PSS: i think people dont' edit their comments because the interface here is to mostly look at the new posts, so q's one responds to go down in the list. to keep bringing up all yoru answers every day to look at what happened in each 'thread' then takes quite a bit of time. not to mention this is not set up for chat. a open forum which is non-owned is needed for an exchange. i don't know of any.

So what is your intention, what is your interest in having an exchange? Is it mainly to be able to pass along your knowlege (before you go)?

In regards to your opener for conversation, about 'being recovered', i have a comment. The first thing is that I find it interesting how reality can be changed simply by receiving a different interpretation. The second thing is in regards to my actually being recovered. Well, sorry to tell you, but this is not the case, I am not recovered and don't think I ever will be. I believe I have reached the point of no return and am beyond help and I don't think there exists the possibility of going back.

PPPS: Interesting to see what comes back from that as your reaction. I see you deleted me from your contacts. I see you did not answer the question of what is your intention - I do mean with you and I. This is an issue that I need to know clear from the outset before I can consider if I am interested in another round of 1-to-1 exchange. You know I'm not talking about 'knowledge' even though i used that word. I trust you can read between the lines and know what i'm referring to. it's not like talking to a kindergartner where you have to make lectures out of basic understandings. one benefit we should have is oe of efficiency, that we don't have to go over the material which we both know each other have. right?

in regards to being recovered, and what I said about it, then underneath all that is my feeling: if you are only interested in fixing me, or getting me out of my delusion or xxxx, then I'm not interested. This is NOT saying that I'm not interested in finding out about my conditioning, neither in growing, neither that I am not open or curious. I am open and curious and you are challenging. But if it's only about you telling me how I am stuck, then i've done that and don't want to return to that paradigm. Now if you can admit that there is something you don't know that perhaps I know and vs. and if i see that you are in fact open and can treat me like an equal, then there is the possibility to be creative. But as long as there are sterotypes and roles, then I don't see it will be creative. You snub me in your reply making it personal and talking about kundalini and high level spirituality - re: head trips, this you do over and over to me. Not once have you asked about it, neither given it any serious consideration. So then you assume that because it is not your experience, then I must be in a head trip. This is the key issue that has to be cleared up if an exchange can happen. By continuing to say that i don't get it and that i'm stuck, etc., and giving your personality lecture over and over gets pretty tiring. to refine it more, the issue seems to be that you don't accept that I could possibly have taken a step that you haven't. meaning that there is possibly something i know that you don't. apparently you are not willing nor able to consider this. so then it becomes an issue of trust, if you don't feel that I have just as solid of a footing as you, then we can't come together as equals. it's then always about who is superior. I'm not interested in that kind of jockeying for position and war-like exchange. You helped me very much, my desire and intention is that I would like to return the favor, but it would require a role reversal or at the minimum an acceptance of equality and to stop giving me basic lectures. I want to give what I have been given, I want to help people. But I can't do it if nobody asks any questions or is interested.

PPPPS: I have an idea. A 'dueling masters' forum. It would be best in a place where there is threads, and one can access it direct - not only via email. i think the forum that comes with lunarpages would work okay. Then anyone invited to participate in that forum, the current members would know they had a good solid base of the fundamentals. Then there would be some rules:

1. everyone accepts that all are on equal footing, there is nobody superior to another, all can shed light.

2. anyone can critique and point out the other's conditioning and patterns - freely - and all must be willing to accept the others reflection without retreating.

3. people remember why they are there - to see their own conitioning and concepts - to grow beyond - they value the other players to help them see one's own hidden aspects.

4. people must respond to all critiques, they must confront the conditioning, concepts, beliefs, aspects, etc., that others point out.

Probably would be a hard place to be, but I think it could be very creative. Perhaps this is what is needed, versus ideas of loving, spiritual, creative dance. What is needed is to play hard-ball... Now who would be up for that? I'm game...

It's interesting to see how many people are interpreting this question totally out of their subjective view, not even checking the other answers and questions from the asker...

By the way, you might not have noticed it, but BeiYin has opened the access to his Q&A. Reading his answers, one can see that he reacted probably out of frustration, especially when one can see that he didn't get the 'best answer' just because the asker voted for an absolutely silly answer, what shows that he/she didn't at all understand B's answer. When there are mostly silly answers, one can see that these are given to gain points and these people don't even read the other answers, so then it seems that the spend energy for answering was wasted.

But I wait what BeiYin will comment to the many answers...

Rahmona

Edit: BeiYin, I don't want to compare you with Jesus, but I imagine that you feel similar when Jesus after years of trying to lift people from their ignorance to a more advanced view, he could see that his intention was of little use. People were listening to him, because it was entertaining and they were not having in those days TV, movies or Internet. But he realized that he was alone and nobody really moved. So when he was accused of conspiration, he didn't defend himself. It didn't make sense to continue and he gave up...

I can see that you don't give up and I understand your choice to leave this place, going on to try other possibilities. I believe your idea to make more videos will be effective. I'm waiting to watch them!

R.

Edit: I would participate in such a dangerous forum! Trusting that nobody wants to hurt me intentionally, but knowing that I will feel hurt, because this is part of the growing and just defense reactions. So the pain is not possible to avoid, but being with people who understand this will help to go beyond.

Yes, definitively I would be part of such a forum. I'm tired of this answers.ya kindergarten games. Although there are a few good people here trying their best but would participate, because they are here because there is no better place to go... There is no hope that yahoo will change anything in the setup of 'answers'. The success they have by offering playground for the masses is reason enough not to allow a change. I'm pretty new here and I was attracted by the good possibilities, but I see now that I will not stay much longer. So go ahead...

Rah

Your answer should be more therapeutic... Not so much for us but for you as well. Maybe we can help in your decision. If it's because someone treated you poorly, you need to know there are lots more of us who are NOT mean and self serving! Maybe I'm wrong but I really think this forum is strictly entertainment. I post questions and answers here knowing full well that some people are idiots. I have no problem when they give me thumbs down and ask stupid questions, leaving me with stupid answers. We are dealing with many teenagers here who like to play games....Even BIG kids who like to play. They like doing the most obnoxious things because of the anonymity. Nobody knows who did it!!!! Do not take this personally! I learned that the hard way when I bought my first computer in 1984... They had BBS's then. No internet but you could still talk to people in forums and then when Genie and Prodigy came along, it was even easier. I usually try to keep it short though because people don't really have a lot of time to read a novel. So, over and out!

OK, I'll try this again. Meaning, I think I've deleted my own answer twice now. I wonder if I spell check more often, that will save my work. It's too late. I already started over again. No need to spell check. But, seriously, does this spell checker save your answer just in case one accidently deletes it?

Well, for $35.00 a share we could buy this company, but the truth would be why? I dumped my stock when it was up. The rest will just suck if micromanagement microsoft takes over. That's probably why I google so much. lol OH WELL, Being truthful.

I think most of my friends of abandoned this place for other reasons than what you state. One, if I finally do come up with a question, I need to rewrite it so it doesn't sound like somebody else who has asked a similar question. Would it be OK if I did ask the same question? I haven't found any questions with responses worth reading. Most are crap and don't answer anything. Then one gets all the juvenile answers, one liner's or one word's answers. These people can't understand what spell check is in the first place. They are lucky they even get one word written. But, we know why they answer the question in the first place. Give me a point man!

Why do people even answer if they don't put a little thought into the subject in the first place? Why do I really care since it seems it takes me two hours just searching for questions too answer and then Cops comes on the tube. I nod off waking to find my lap top spinning in screen saver mode and G4's gone too bed and so should I.

I wanted to answer your question. Unfortunately, I don't even know how. I'm ready to leave this site too, but for my own selfish reasons, not that yours are selfish.

I'm just tired and I don't want any ten year old tell me to get counseling. That seems to be the big answer from most people if they don't understand your question or they haven't the foggiest idea what's going on in the world.

Before I loose my train of thought again, I should mention that their Check Spelling "Spell Check" only works part of the time anyway. Wait....I'm getting a gmail.......nothing important. Just yahoo asking if I want to come play.

If you go all you have too do is ask. Not that you need my permission. How will we communicate? We have too find a place that those administrator's of some community like this one have a cob up their *** half the time. Boy, does that sound familiar. I just wrote that same line too ebay masterbaters yesterday. Whoops, I mean ebay customer support. Of course they only make $3.00 a day so why would I expect them to understand a simple question anyway? They probably have the same people watching this site too make sure we are not spamming or following the rules. Althought if they are getting paid $3.00 a day, it's probably $3.50 too much.

Sorry. I wished I could of helped. Of course this will be deleted so I saved it too google so I could add it too another persons question. lol

Dear BYin,

I got an email from you a few weeks ago about choosing best answers, and I was't sure why I was getting it. You seemed stressed about this. If I may, take it easy. Your answers are here for the whole world to stumble upon. Have faith that whoever 'needs' to and is 'open' to receiving will in good time read your messages. Myself, sometimes I answer seriously, and other times it's pure entertainment only. At all times I try not to disrespect anyone though I do have my own personality and humor that not everyone can appreciate or approve of. Have I done something that hurt you? If so I'm sorry. Best if you could be more laid back, the points don't really matter do they. Sure, I have a little fun watching my "scores" but ultimately our scores are not tallyable in the conventional sense. Who knows the final score? Bye then if this is to be your last, it was interesting virtually beginning to virtually know you. Do you have answers to other areas of life? what are your hobbies and interests? I never knew really knew you.

Your wanting is interfering with your Being causing this suffering (frustration). Try letting people be what they are, yes, many times young, foolish and shallow is what we are, there is no use in trying to deny it or change what is. If you let go of your need for specific kinds of questions and askers and just answer what comes to you sharing your depth and love, you may reach more than when you just "preach to the choir". If your aim is simply to reach as many as possible doesn't this make sense? It is not the intention of the asker that matters as much as your intention in answering.

Unless you really think the point system matters; in which case, the ego has won this round.

I would be interested in your forum. I am not one to start such a thing as my ability to access the Internet is sporadic. I think you underestimate the impact of your answers. There really is no way to tell how many people are touched by what you have written. The Internet is a funny place, we never know how many seeds are planted in the fertile soil of inquisitive minds. It is so different from any other form of communication.

I'll be polite and say one day you will return like I did after a three month hiatus. But when you do return, expect that some of your contacts may not be here either, or may have changed their identity.

Good Luck, it's a cruel world out there

I care why you are giving up and leaving Yahoo, your answers are very educational,and I read your poems too. I apologized for these appalling members. I enjoyed reading your opinions. I hope you will change your mind . Vannili

Yes, I'm interested. Can I change your mind ??

What seems to be the problem ??

Now if I am answering a non serious question, buzz off.

Blessings to you ~~~~~

I know why I want to leave, but I also know what keeps bringing me back.

I care to hear why you go. Why do you give up? I want to know if it's for any of the reasons I have or if you have a different one.

BeiYin,

Why?!!! I havent got a chance to know you.

Im very interested to know why, so why?

Give it another chance, please.

In Peace

Angi