Homeschooled teens "missing out" on teen life?

Forgive me if my post sounds similar to the others'; I didn't read them as I didn't want to be influenced by them. Also, I apologize in advance for this long post.

Let me start by saying that I was homeschooled my entire life with the exception of 9th grade. I'm just going to draw up a little list that compares my experiences.

Public school "good things":

Belonged to the Quiz Bowl team and was team manager for the varsity basketball team.

Straight A's (except for art and PE -- grrr!).

Made a couple of friends.

Homeschool "good things":

Was able to take the time to figure things out for myself, rather than use rote memorization.

Had a flexible schedule.

Could study topics that interested me. Example: In 2004, I became pretty interested in the presidential elections. Studying the elections counted, at least in part, for government, history, math (probability and statistics), and English (analyzing debates).

Public school "bad things":

I was ostracized by most, as I hadn't grown up with them.

I was picked on by a few to the point where we had to threaten a sexual harassment lawsuit.

I didn't actually "learn" anything; the material wasn't new to me.

Plain and simple, it was boring.

Homeschool "bad things":

The only one I can think of here is that I wasn't exposed to that many viewpoints, so I didn't really learn good arguments for/against certain topics.

On to socialization. I made many friends while I was homeschooled, and I still communicate with them regularly, even though I'm 1,000 miles away in college now. I had the opportunity to join several groups while I was homeschooled that I wouldn't have been able to were I in public school at the time. I was on my library's Teen Advisory Board, helping plan programs and choose books for the county's teens. I was on a bowling league. I was in my church youth group. I worked at the Burger King, getting an easier job than the kids that had to wait until the 5:00 dinner rush to come in. The catch is, I made friends from all of these activities. Friendships that lasted, unlike the ones I made in public school. And we did the usual teen stuff: we'd get together and run around out back, ride our bikes to the ice cream parlor, start a game of pick-up soccer, goof off and get into trouble. :)

I guess that the point I'm trying to make is, the "teen experience" is whatever the teen makes out of it. For me, it was a good one. For others, maybe not so good. But if you can look back and say "I learned something from that", it's a worthwhile experience in my book.

I think you're doing a great job. People shouldn't be harsh and cruel to you with their answers on here just because you were honest about how you feel. I think nearly all mothers feel this way at some point. You are also doing a GREAT thing by still breastfeeding! I'm 20 with a 10 week old little girl, and I don't know any other young moms who stuck it out breastfeeding. I feel like I'm the only one. What you need to do is get out of the house any chance you get. If you have any friends or family who live close by, ask them if you could just go out for a day once every week or two with them or if they would like to visit or have you visit them. If you can't even do this, then maybe getting outside with the baby (a walk around the street with the stroller or something) would help. Maybe try thinking about starting classes next fall. I am a full-time student right now, and it has been tough, but not as hard as everybody made it out to be. It just takes willpower. Being in school gives me something else to think (and worry! LOL) about other than my daughter, so maybe it could do the same for you so you can have an identity other than just "mom." Just try to stay positive and be thankful for what you do have. I think keeping a journal would also help you to appreciate things and not feel as much resentment toward your son and/or husband. Everything will be fine! Just don't give up and stay as positive as you can. GOOD LUCK!

Homeschooled Teenagers

I feel like homeschooling can really give you the best of both worlds. I think there are some homeschooled teens who feel like it's necessary to still "fit in" and have a so-called "normal" teen life, and if they want to, they can still do that (as I'm sure you know). Then there are other teens who don't care so much about being carbon copies of everyone else, and homeschooling allows them to go in their own directions. I don't know what could be better than having that type of choice!

i was homeschooled all my life before going off to college. i was very involved with my youth group at my church, so i never felt like i was missing much. all my friends who went to public schools were always telling me how lucky i was. then when i went to college, nobody ever guessed that i was homeschooled. when i would tell them, they would be surprised and give the infamous reply "you don't act like a homeschooler."

i think the key is to have your kids/teens get involved with some sort of program where they're around other kids their own age. if they have a big social group, they be happy to be left out of the public school scene.

Yes and no. I was home-schooled until college but it wasn't hard to adjust to college because people in college are individuals: everyone does their own thing and people usually accept you for who you are. I didn't have my first relationship until I was 20 and it would have been nice to have friend's experiences with guys to understand what to expect, but it didn't mess me up too badly because many people don't date until my age anyway.

In high school, I was involved with many extracurricular activities with teens my own age, as well as people of all different ages through volunteer work and such. So I think I got a little bit of everything. Not much different than the geeks or very very smart people who don't have much of a social life until their 20's.....or any other group of people.

Life is what you make of it.....sometimes I wish I had more experience with "real world" stuff, but I've made up for it all in college and it all evens out anyway.

I completely agree with you! The stereo-type idea of what a teenager's life looks is so wrong here in America at least.

Many people in this country (at least) see partying, get into relationships and having premarital (sp?) sex, rebelling, being depressed and immature, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and being obsessed with themselves, possessions, and the drama of public high school are all normal things for teenagers to do. They accept them and say that these things are "normal" parts of growing up and experimenting with life.

I'm a home schooled teen in 10th grade and I love my life! I have a big circle of friends, love learning (am already planning what I want to do with my life), have a great family, and do lots of extracurricular activities.

I've never gone partying, had a bf, experimented

with drugs, or gone to public school and do not feel like I've missed anything.

If what I mentioned above is normal in this cultures eyes, I like being abnormal!!!!!!! LOL! ;)

I think homeschool is a fantastic idea if the parent that is teaching the child has the patience and knowledge to do what is best for their child AND the kids get to be around other kids their own age and have fun (and learn too). I had to homeschool my son for about a year and a half because of health reasons (severe food allergies) and I tried desperately to find a group to get involved with so that he would have other kids his own age to play with. We live in a small town with small adjoining towns and there were no groups near me, and the 2 that were about an hour away never bothered to email me back after SEVERAL attempts of contact. My son was lonely. He craved playing with other children. I had to make sure that he was old enough to understand the dangers of sharing food before I could let him go to school. I do believe in homeschooling and I do believe teens can have a totally "normal", and more importantly HAPPY life....probably happier than those that are facing the pressure that public school kids put on other kids. Don't worry about what others think. Believe me, it is trying to educate people on the dangers of deadly food allergies...either they care or they don't, but you won't change their minds.

I can go on for a long time on this subject.

Since I grew up in Europe I do have a different view of this so called artificial extension of childhood, called the teen years.

Yes. artificial; young people are very capable and ready far earlier for adult life/responsibilities than we give them credit for.

By keeping them "little", or infant like, we are not doing them any favors; maturity is not tied to a chronological age, like 18 or 21, but is determined by the experiences they will have before reaching "adult status".

Young people do not magically gain the knowledge, and maturity that we seem to expect of them at age 18, but do not at age 17.

Home schooling gives them the opportunity to see early on that it's about ability not age, grade level, or even test scores.

The confidence, and independence gained through home schooling, and having to be responsible for helping direct their own education will serve them well come college, and beyond.

The best book I have ever read, and that summed up just about everything on this issue is, The Case Against Adolescence by Robert Epstein PhD.

It's a long read, but well worth it when discussing this subject.

Would anybody like to see my son's "My Space" pages? Does it look like 'normal life'?

Yep... same rock music. Yep... same silly pictures of silly teens doing silly things. Yep... pictures of the gang at Carowinds, the park, the ball game, the mall, etc. Yep... pictures of the basketball team in action.

Yep... big minute plan on the cell phone.

Yep...same 'melt downs' due to restrictions and rules.

Yep... same 'I'll do it in a minute' response that I gave my parents.

Yep.. same worn out tires from transporting to all the activities...plus more wear on tires now that he has his driver's permit.

I work in the high school. I see teens everyday. I see homeschool teens regularly. I do not see any difference.

This may be a bad thing but it is not what we hear time and time again on the Y!A about 'missing out'. Hopefully he will not grow into one of those adults who are not mature but right now he is enjoying the time.

I didn't really comment on the new cultural 'teen years' but you are right. The rebellious years exist because it is expected due to propaganda.