I can't feel guilt or remorse.. Serious answers only?

You are disconnected from certain aspects of reality.

Military training does not help. It just increases the disconnection. The main goal of certain aspects of your training was to desensitize you and make you see others as objects or threats. The idea was to make you see the world as a place made up of good and bad people with you and those who looked like you as the good people.

If your upbringing already had you feeling that way the training only made things worse.

Guilt and remorse Are not necessary, a compassionate understanding of the plight of others is what you should be fostering.

Be careful admitting to things that happened. The military is always on the look out for scape goats and they have had a lot of practice taking people that they have screwed up and turning them into the bad guys. What is done is done, all of the guilt or remorse in the universe can't change it.

What you need to focus on now is salvaging what you have left.

I wish you luck dear friend.

Love and blessings Don

It sounds like you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One of the potential signs of PTSD is a sort of emotional numbing and inability to feel anything. However, you will need to get a more thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist to determine if this what the problem is. You say you didn't experience any traumatic events but then you describe events that would be traumatic to anyone. You should seek treatment at a Veterans Administration hospital.

You say that you don't feel guilt or remorse which could indicate a personality disorder unrelated to your combat but you also say that you cry when you when you think of something bad happening to someone. This seems to indicate that you are capable of empathizing with others and maybe you are just suppressing your feelings about these events. . A qualified psychiatrist will be able to help you identify your problem and treat it.

This coud be way off base, but I'll give it a stab. You know how before you did the Army thing it bothered you when you were yelled at or insulted for no reason? Then after the Army, there's no amount of yelling or insults that mean the same thing, because we've become acustomed to it. I figure maybe a parent or babysitter in your youth used guilt as a means of control. Women have tried this with me my entire life, and as a result I'm pretty impervious to guilt myself. Guilt is an abstract emotion I think You don't NEED to be guilty about anything. Another option is that you never do wrong, and therefore have no reason for guilt...But since you've been in the Army, I doubt that's the case.lol Don't misunderstand, I don't believe the Army is inherently wrong. I just know from personal experience, that although we preach a creed and have regulations on everything from how we tie knots to how often we take out the trash...We do alot of things a civilized society might frown on ethically. SSHHH!! That'll be our little secret...

Guilt And Remorse

My friend, guilt or remorse are the reactions of ego or let's say, individuality. When I act motivated or directed by my ego for the sake of my self, the result being analyzed by the ego in terms right or wrong. But when my actions are governed by the agency some thing other than me, the merits or demerits of that action are naturally not mine. You might have read about that officer who dropped atom bomb on Japan during second world war. He too had no regret or remorse for his action because he as a soldier only obeyed the orders, and did that as his duty. You can take the cases of Judges. They order sentence to hang a culprit. But while doing so they only obey the law of the land. Why should they involve their individuality in that deed. When any action is dedicated to some higher ideal than the selfish ego, the reactions in terms of credit or discredit, right or wrong, etc do not affect the individuality. The intention behind any action is the plateform that receives the reaction of it and then evaluates. When the intention is absent, the reaction is also absent. Please reasses your attitude in this light.

There is some interesting insight from the answers here. I personally agree, to a large extent, with the "fellow" Military perspectives.

Simply put, desensitization is powerful. It can change part of the core being that makes up ones personality. Their beliefs, values, virtues, filters etc.

I grew up in a moderately conservative Catholic household with left wing liberal folks.I attended catholic school as did my brothers. The term "Godfearing" was quite literal in my upbringing and to that end, as an autonomous individual with the ability to think and reason, I did not need the Ten Commandments to determine the difference bet. Right and Wrong.

I was in the Army and particularly the 82nd Airborne, 2nd I.D. I am a gulf war Vet and my views on "right and wrong" have changed dramatically from the time I was in grade school to now.

To kill indiscriminately is clearly wrong and exhibits Sociopathic and Psychotic behavior. It is, quite literally symptomatic of Insanity. However, to Kill because you are trained and systematically brainwashed into believing you are on the side of Rightousness, and to do so, for the sake of protecting the innocent or oppressed, to further a greater good, It becomes easy to justify your actions and be forgiving of yourself.

This by no means is an excuse to feel no remorse for hurting another human being or Killing. It in fact does change you forever and for me, GUILT is smtg I struggle with every day to this day.

I suspect there are genetic or biological factors to attribute your inability to feel remorse and based on your message, cannot be attributed to, say, physical or sexual abuse or simply being raised in an environment where violence is the norm.

One thing I can say is if you are not out there hurting people and destroying lives, then you are just built that way. If you feel it is abnormal or you struggle with the "idea" you may have a problem, then seek counseling for it. You have little to Lose and much to gain.

Good Luck,

or fueling a greater good, it becomes easy to justify your actions.

You're really not that different from a lot of people, just more willing to admit it to some anonymous extent. It's the same phenomenon when people rubberneck during a horrific accident, or, a current example, people gossip with joy as a pathetic teen icon slowly kills herself in a public spectacle (knowing that their persecutive attitude is what's murdering this talentless twit). Yet people don't want to admit that they're fixated on the misfortunes of others, as long as it's someone who hasn't personally connected with them in some way.

Guilt is neither good or evil. Most often it occurs in codependent personality types who effect their traits upon others. It has a place when it comes to curbing negative behaviours.

The second thing about "feeling" remorse is that it's not as prevalent today as it used to be. Even if nothing happened to make you lack compunction, chances are you were raised in an environment saturated in a lack of personal responsibility.

I was raised highly religious, and a lot of responsibilities were placed upon me at a young age. That made me think a lot more about the consequences of my actions, but I noticed a lack of that in many of my peers in the 1980's, who were just breezing through life, experiencing one stimulus after another.

They were never responsible (meaning they were never held accountable, they just "did" things and moved on to the next "thing" to do).

This may have effected the way you turned out. I can say that after leaving religion, I've lost a lot of that sense of fear of guilt. Neither good or bad. I respect the life of animals and certain types of humans, but not most people, because most people are exactly as you have described yourself. In the meaning of accountability, people have to prove themselves worthy of my respect, and vice versa.

I realise that tax money that I contribute is going towards genocide, but I "feel" indifferent, even though I know it's wrong. If it were not for the collective indifference of those around me, I'd feel a sense of obligation to do something about it, but, as everyone is disconnected, it seems like a pointless effort that will go nowhere. My attemps in the past to get people to care more for others has only made me one of them - essentially. In your case, it's mere cultural emersion, and your personality has responded to it in this way. You don't romanticise about being "nice", which is what most people do to make themselves feel redeemable. You just "are" as it were.

No counselor will really help you on this. You are either going to have to experience an eventual repercussion to something you've done that will one day haunt you, or you may be lucky in life and become a billionaire.

You are a psychopath. If you feel no remorse for killing then look in the DSMIV -it is used by psychologists. Psychopaths are capable of feeling certain things and can function normally but lack remorse. This is not a bad thing. You were born this way. You chose your profession because you knew you would not be bothered killing someone. The truth hurts but this does not mean you are all bad.

Just means you were condition to be a soldier.

Just like a hunting dog is train to retrieve birds. I mean a doctor is trained to save lives. A killer is trained to kill.

What do you need emotions for anyways, if you care that much then you do have em. If no then turn those old songs you us to like eventually you will remember. You was a kid once!

I think you can experience these emotions retrospectively but in the moment you feel nothing. Maybe it is some sort of survival mechanism and once you feel safe enough to 'feel', you do. Like a delayed reaction?