how do you tell if she is a lesbian?

Maybe if she acts all butch, masculine and manly.

But otherwise you can hardly ever tell, unlike the gay guys.

I'm hoping you picked up on the important lesson your faux pas taught you: Never ever judge a book by it's cover. I'm willing to bet that some of the hunkiest male jocks in your school are also gay. They just don't "look" it.

The only thing that makes a person gay/lesbian is their attraction to someone of the same sex. All the other stuff like hairstyle, mannerisms, voice pitch, etc., these are just incidentals and should be considered "fluff".

Does she dress like a guy, walk like a guy, smell like a guy?

I wouldn't be too disappointed. At least she was honest with you once you asked her out. It could have turned out the other way and she could have lied and lead you on for a lot longer.

Being she is a transfer student, she probably doesn't know too many people, therefore you were unable to find out anything about her from others.

While there are no sure fire ways to spot a lesbian, the best way in finding out is with time...unfortunately....because its not something that a stranger will just blurt out.

Good luck.

I happen to be a Lesbian and almost all this is not a sure way to tell. Not all lesbians are tomboy with short hair, or wear rainbows and things. Sure, Most do....If they are out. Even if they are though, some don't flaunt it to keep themselves from getting hurt by straight people who think that it's wrong for us to be the way we are. You may ask a girl and be totally surprised by their answer because some hide it on purpose, and some don't mean or even realize they are hiding it. The best way to tell, with out any misdirection, is to just ask her. Otherwise, you could probably take her actions the wrong way and offend her or something.

The most direct way to find out if a woman is a lesbian is to ask her. The slower less direct way is take the time to really get to know her and after lots of observation if you still don't know.... ask her.

But I think the real solution to your predicament is actually easier then worrying about their sexual orientation. Ask the next girl on your list of 5 to the dance.

My best friend in high school was a lesbian and she looked pretty normal too... she was really mean and would flirt with guys just so she could turn them down... but anyway, she always wore something rainbow colored... usually a necklace, bracelet, belt, or hair tie.

I'm sorry to hear that.

But, the lesbian probably cant go out as free as gay people do, i dunno why but it seems so.

And some of them are really good at keeping secret, as a female its a natural to live with secret. So, yes lesbians do smart at covering it.

So, i cant really help you..... even i don't know how to find them if i wast around the "bar".....

Good luck then.

Find as less public way to ask them...then you won't have the chance of school- wide embarrassment. Ask around about them, but don't rely on rumors.

it's all stereotypes. lots of times a girl may behave or look more masculine [short hair, baggy clothes] but then again she may just be a tomboy. for right now, i guess you can try and ask those you know are definitely straight [or bi?]

Stick in a porno and see if they turn their heads during the girl/girl scenes.