What is it about todays "young single males?"?

i definitely believe its more of a generational deal. im 26 and live with my parents as well and a lot of my friends still do also, although i am just starting the process of purchasing my first home. my main reason for staying was helping my parents out the last couple years with rent, they really needed it and my parents are super cool so i have no problem living at home still. the girl thing is also generational, when you got married there wasnt something like half of marriages ending in divorce. i just want to have my career laid out and focus my time on that for the now then get into looking for serious relationships after i get myself squared away and not ruin my future having kids to early or having some chick take half my dough. i think a lot of guys my age feel this way, i know most of my friends do.

I think that the behavior that you describe is based on a deeper generational phenomenon that also produces other (sometimes opposite) trends. I am only 23, but I am aware of a number of differences between people growing up in the 80's and 90's versus, say, the 50's and 60's. And I think they have produced profound changes in the way my generation pursues long term relationships.

The first (and perhaps underlying) difference is economic. 30 to 40 years ago, one working adult with a high school education could reasonably expect to earn enough money to support a family of four and perhaps even take out a loan on a house and a car while doing it. Today, two working adults with college degrees cannot on average afford a home loan without a cosigner, let alone kids and cars. America has in some sense become wealthier in these past 30 years, but at the same time the rich poor gap has increased dramatically and as a result today's notion of "middle class" does not match up with what is traditionally thought of as the middle class lifestyle.

My generation is very aware of this. We might not all look at the statistics or think about it in any historical context, but we know that unless we go to graduate school and secure a fancy job in the financial sector or at some engineering company we will probably have to save for a long time before we can afford a family and a red-brick house (let alone a college fund for our offspring). So on average we stay in school longer and work longer hours for (adjusting for inflation) less money. I am working on my PhD in mathematics, and even if everything works out the way I hope I will not be able to comfortably afford the "American Dream" until well into my 30's.

I should comment that most people don't consciously decide "I can't afford a family so why have a real relationship?" It is embedded in our culture - we know that we will not have what we were raised to consider an adult life for quite some time (many of us are still students) so it does not seem natural for us to pursue an adult relationship.

I think this economic explanation is the main point, but it is also worth mentioning that our world is a lot "bigger" than yours was. Before the advent of the internet, a person's social sphere was mostly limited to his or her immediate geographical community; today one can interact with hundreds of people a day from all over the world at the touch of a button. Meeting romantic partners via the internet (e.g. e-harmony) has become incredibly common. I think it is fair to say that the sheer size of today's social networks makes people less inclined to settle down and choose a specific partner.

So those are my observations. I obviously wasn't alive during the time to which I am comparing my generation so I leave it to you to evaluate my assertions, but they seem reasonable enough given verifiable economic and social trends.

Being a guy with a career and being in my early 30's I'll try to throw you my 2 cents.

It has less to do with the concept of a generational gap than it does with the idea that there is much less pressure to get married and start a family now than there traditionally had been. I have lived in quite a few states, and I know full well that many (most probably) guys don't even begin to start thinking about a real relationship until they are well into their 30's.

My opinion on this has to do with economics. Especially in CA, real estate is ridiculously expensive and the cost of living growth is outpacing wage growth by about 2 to 1. That essentially means that if they were to get married, they would not have the financial means to support a family. It sounds like they were raised in a solid home environment and that is probably a goal that they both consider realistic. The easiest way to avoid facing this issue is to put off marriage until they are financially able to support a wife and children.

There is less pressure to start the family now than there was "back in your time" and added to the financial pressures of life in California, that basically means that they will not feel ready or motivated to do this. Please don't equate your own situation to theirs. You lived in a different time. There are also many other pressures on young people these days. Social, political, financial, familial.

There is nothing wrong with kicking them out of the house and making them stand up on their own, but don't expect them to follow your example in a world that you never had to live in.

If they are like me they have tried to find girlfriends, but have not matched up to the "young females" standards which include Rich, handsome, funny, confident,etc. Like me, they probably see no point in trying to get a girlfriend. I've tried so many times to ask a girl out only to be rejected.

The world in "meatspace" in pretty cruel especially when you consider the females out there. I've come across some nasties. Its easier and very comfortable to sit in front of a computer and play online games. For them it might a way to escape from reality that for whatever reason, they don't like.

I really think its this whole generation. They lack motivation and interest. And it seems like most kids today just wanna party and stay young and not really worry about the future. But shoot at least your boys went to college and got a degree. Alot don't even have any interest in that.

Everyone wants to be a kid forever, home cooked meals, family security and theyre still young enough to pull it off. As for not settling down with a nice little wifey, why buy the hen when you get the eggs for free? ;-)

They want to have fun....having a family changes your life FOREVER....let them enjoy partying, girls, and friends....

because they lose a lot of that once they marry and have kids