kdlamb24

They are going to be making a Fraggle Rock movie!!! Anyone else watch this when they were little?

Ok So I've read all the info about them and have seen all the news reports about it. According to everything that I've seen and read I qualify for the rebate but I haven't recieved a notice in the mail? Anyone else have this problem? And does this mean I'm not getting a rebate?

My 13 year old son is in desperate need of learning the meaning of hard labor. He thinks everything should be given to him without any concern for money or anything. So this summer I told him that he's going to be getting a job. We live in Omaha, NE. Anyone know who or were I should contact to see about him detasseling corn this summer? Any info would be great. Thanks!!

I can't get that commercial outta my head for the free credit report website.

F-R-E-E that spells free, credit report.com baby!!

I just keep repeating the stupid thing!!! LOL

Possibly in Nebraska?

What the hell is goning on in this country when all I ever hear about is how so and so girl 12 years old is pregnant? I mean who is parenting theses kids? Should society be to blame for things on TV and movies and music or the parents for allowing their kids to run the streets.

What was it like? I find these things very interesting and was wondering if anyone has seen one and if so how did you get to see it?

I have 2 dogs, a pittbull mix and a american bulldog mix. Just the other day we spent over 75 dollars on new toys for these guys. And today they are ALL demolished!!! We need something that is VERY durable. We've tried the kongs, tires, ropes,even a toy that was made from bulletproof plastic. And every single one of them the chew to pieces!!! I mean literally to pieces. Do you guys know of any toys that would last longer than 2 days. I'm tired of spending money on toys for them and then coming home and finding little bits and pieces of what used to be their toy. And then sometimes not being able to find the toy at all. But to be surprised a couple days later when its puked up on my carpet. Please help!!!!

And taxes aren't due until April 15th. but what if I've already done my taxes. Do you think that they will send those out earlier?

It's always really interested me. I mean I watch all those shows about surgeries ans stuff on TLC. But I want to know how I would go about seeing an actual autopsy.

You think you have it

bad???Dress

>Code:1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your

salary.

>If wesee you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will

assume

>you aredoing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.2. If

you

>dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, sothat

you may

>buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.3. If you

dress

>just right, you are right where you need to be and thereforeyou do not

need

>a raise.Sick Days:1. We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as

proof

>of sickness. Ifyou are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come

to

>work.Personal Days:1. Each employee will receive 104 personal days a

year.

>They are calledSaturdays & Sundays.Bereavement Leave:1. This is no

excuse

>for missing work. There is nothing you can do for deadfriends,

relatives or

>co-workers. Every effort should be made to havenon-employees attend

the

>funeral

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small

>

>tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is

>that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

>

>The birch says he cannot tell.

>

>Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

>

>The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if

that

>is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

>

>The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is

>neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the

best

>piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

>

>

>

POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging

permanent work in an,

often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication

and organizational skills and be willing to work

variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends

and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to

primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,

until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a

pack mule

and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat

in case, this time, the screams from

the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,

such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets

and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and

coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings

for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,

an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a

half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for

the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and

janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,

so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because

of the assumption that college will help them

become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that

you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,

no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and

no stock options are offered;

this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,

and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After din ner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me y our pearls"

"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite."

"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

< B> "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have m y baby do ll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy; this is for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to J enny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? ' Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me ...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke , 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'

God said, ' Ah, yes.'

'Well ,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in our invention !

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,'

replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur,

'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.

Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten his or her own peril.

They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a cowboy from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

One button at a time........

No one moves.................

He removes his shirt................

Muscles ripple across his chest..........

She gasps....................

He whispers.................

"Iron this....then get me a beer."

Why parents drink

>

>

>

>A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his

>bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an

>envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to " Dad "

>

>With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and

>read the letter.

>

>Dear Dad :

>It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

>elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with

>Mom and you.

>

>I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

>But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,

>tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

>than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.

>

>Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods

>and has a stack Of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of

>having many more children.

>

>Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really

>hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with

>The other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the

>meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can

>get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad . I'm 15 and I know how to take

>care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can

>get to know your grandchildren.

>

>Love, Your Son John

>

>PS. Dad , none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I

>just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a

>report card. That's in my center desk drawer.

>

>I love you.

>Call me when it's safe to come home.

LOL

Ok I thought my dog was really weird. Everytime he poo's he has to crap on something, like halfway up on a fence. Or halfway up on a bush. LOL He like literally sticks his *** as high as he can! And then today I saw this little poofball of a dog who completely lifted both back legs off the ground and crapped.LOL It had re rolling. What's the weirdest position that you've seen a dog crap?

Ok me and my hubby have been married for 6 years now. And EVERY anniversary something comes up were we can't celebrate and do something. Or we can't agree on what to do. So this year we are making sure we can do something. I'm 25 and he's 31. He's very outgoing and I'm kinda shy. What is something that we can do together. It doesn't have to be all lovey dovey. I think we're pretty much past that now. LOL But we would like to go out on the town and have a blast. Money isn't a factor this time. We're both kinda kinky...alright really kinky. I wanna try some new things. And he's all for new things. Anybody ever hired a stripper before? Any fun? Or I don't know. Any ideas as to what we could do? We don't get out that often due to having kids. So we wanna live it up for a couple days. If ya know what I mean. LOL HELP!!!!

blame a grown child for their issues. Having a breakdown and going bankrupt?