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Would you of had kids if this is how it was presented to you?

POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging

permanent work in an,

often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication

and organizational skills and be willing to work

variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends

and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to

primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,

until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a

pack mule

and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat

in case, this time, the screams from

the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,

such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets

and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and

coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings

for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,

an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a

half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for

the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and

janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,

so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because

of the assumption that college will help them

become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that

you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,

no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and

no stock options are offered;

this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,

and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

5 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hell no !!!! Can relate to every word. You made it sound funny gave me a good laugh which I needed. Thanks ! You must be younger mother forgot to mention when they return home with their kids for free room and board. Those hugs and kisses from the grand kids will melt your heart...........good luck............there is more to come>>>>>>>>>hahahahah

    Source(s): encyclopedia for raising children and a good nerve medication.
  • 5 years ago

    I agree with the first poster -- if those were my nieces and nephews I wouldn't give them jack ****. They are so unappreciative. Hell, I am a 30 year old woman and I didn't get my first real Coach purse until a couple of years ago, and the only reason I got it then is because I got a bonus at work. That's ridiculous. Christmas is not about how much the gifts are -- it's the thought that counts. I have five aunts like this. If it's not the namebrand they want, then it gets tossed aside or given away. They talk about how cheap it is, etc. Guess what? I don't buy them gifts anymore. I am trying to make ends meet myself, and then I try to be nice and buy you something only for you to talk about it. No way! I wouldn't give them anything.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    That is what I do best and when I am only doing that it seems that I am more peaceful and happier, why are you asking? Hope that you find the opportunity you desire, whatever that is? Thanks for asking, this is important to me.

  • V2K1
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Sounds good to me...I can't have kids.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes I have no other go.

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