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Website visitor dialup detector?

Is there anyway I can create or D/L a Java applet, javascript,VBscript, PHP/ASP, swf or any other thing that will detect if a user visits my website using a dialup connect. I want to have my site automaticaly redirect dialup users to a special low-res version of my site to make it load better and fast for them. Is there anyway I can do this. I was thinking maybe make a script to ping their server and figure out how fast there connection is by how long the ping takes, but not sure if satellite users might have too much latency for this to work. Any ideas?

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