What I can say?

Yes, I know who this things goes in Memons. Thats ridiculous. Islam doesn't allow all this waste of money and burden on girl's side.

I really hate all these customs and cultures and brother YOU have to stand now.If the groom or his family demand this or overburden the bride’s family by its expenses, then this is not allowed, since it comes under the ruling of consuming peoples’ money without legal right and without their consent.

Take the step and tell your parents that you don;t want anything from the bride side.

Tell them its a Marriage not a Trade~!

These are cultural protocols in your region, other regions have other protocols, but in Asia (India and Pakistan) is my impression of where the biggest contrast exists between 'income levels' and 'marriage ceremonial expenditures'.

Our prophet (PBUH) said (interpretation) The best/most blessed of brides are those of the least dowry.

In the majority of the cases I keep hearing about, the cause is the mother of the bride, not the bride or the gentlemen involved and she usually won't have anyone mess with her ideas of what would be appropriate for their culture and social class where these are not merely financially determined. Some of the worst things you can be burdened with is a legacy and status of a particular social class in a particular culture without the 'usual' associated financial means typically found at the disposal of such a class.

I'm not referring here to any racist elements, merely tribal and it doesn't matter if you're the most educated or well traveled and cultured in other practices, when it comes to doing things in Rome, you'll do as the Romans to avoid critisism and shame from ones peers.. usually the peers of the parents, not those getting married, but they do pay the price for everyone else sometimes.. I see a lot of parents and family members chip in to the marriages out of their savings to allow these youngsters to reach their goals within the social protocol that will embarrass the parents if it's not adhered to.. The unlucky ones are those with the least number of relatives whom have savings. :-)

Then comes the payback on those interest free mega loans for years and years, at times up till the time where the kids of the new couple enter college.

This is not the mainstream muslims ideal... These rules are not there in the Quran or sunnah

marriage should not be a burdon..

there is only the dowry to be given by the husband to the bride and it can be anything from 1 penny to infinate amount, but if the bride is of a good moral character, she wont burden her groom with a huge dower amount..

This is to be hers, not her fathers, not to her brothers, its hers and hers only. She also does not have to spend a dime of it if she so chooses..

In most Islamic marriages, the groom pays for the wedding. The onlything the bride might pay for is an elaborate dress or more decorations or something else she so chooses, but the expense should be the mans..

You also dont need to spend a lot... You could do nothing more than have a few witnesses, dress is the best clean clothing you have, ... have a roast lamb meal for the guests and thats it...

Allah does not put more on us in Islam than we can handle...

Dont let greed and vanity of others get to you.. You are to serve Allah alone, not those greedy vain family members you talk of...

Dear,

Assalamu'alakum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

I am absolutely with you. I really understand your feeling. The frustration you have in your community. That are custom and tradition of your community. The usual way of behaving upholding marriages in your community. Your community is VICTIMIZE your own daughters. Maybe, in the olden days this tradition was practical, but in this modern world, electronics medias and economic problems maybe this kind of custom is no more relevant.

The Law of Marriage in Islam never have had all these. If I may display what does marriage means in Islam;

Those who are able to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage are urge by God to get married. Marriage is entered into by contract of offer and acceptance drawn by mutual consent of the bridegroom or his representative and the guardian or representative of the bride in the presence of the two ceremonial gathering.

To have a valid marriage contract the bride must not be one of those whom the bridegroom is prohibited to marry on account of kinship or suckling, or a marriage relationship.

The dowry, which must according to sinna be reasonable, belongs to the wife. The wife also has the right to get it all before marriage is consummated. However, a part of it may be differed and paid later.

In the case the deffered part becomes a debt which the wife gets upon divorce or upon the husband's. In case of the wife's death, the unpaid part goes to her heirs.

Wabillahhitaufiq Walhidayah Wassalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.

Islam taught man to be servant of One Merciful God and bow before Him alone and lead an easy and simple life. Culture & customs taught man to bow before it and lead a tough and misery life. Allah has given everyone the Choice.

i hate this but one thing more memon cant mery any girl which is not memon even he loves her this is also not in islam what is this this is wrong tht why i hate memon jimat wrong rules i hate jimat too as they are doing nothing to break this rulea oh ALLAH please open their mind as they are doing very very wrong

lack of knowledge about islam but this cancer is spread in all community . Pray to allah thats the only answer i have .

Only all these things willbe solved if we care to listen and practice what ALLAH says.