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How can I calmly confront my friend?
I have a friend who always seems to "need a talk" about anything and everything - mostly boy problems. Over the last year I went through some stuff too - and even though she tells me that I'm not alone and that she's always gonna be there, I can't help but feel like she's just saying that to make me feel better.
I always listen to her when she needs to talk and I always try to give her advice when she asks for it. She knows she can call me anytime. But when I try to talk about my situation - she always blows me off and finds a way to change the subject. So I just gave up on talking to her about it. I don't mention it at all - and when she asks I give her short answers and not much info. Of course she gets mad that I'm not filling her in on everything, but I'm sick of not being able to talk about my life but expected to listen to every detail about hers.
The other thing that bugs me is that she thinks that my life is her business and that she needs to know everything about it. Like she's entitled to know stuff just because she's my friend. I know she doesn't mean when she says "it's just between us" because I know for a fact that she tells her boyfriend all of it. It's not even the fact that her boyfriend knows-it's just the fact that she tells me she won't tell anyone. And none of this pertains to him anyway - so there's no point in him knowing at all.
So I'm basically just really frustrated with the whole sitation at this point. I said something to her before about it but it pretty much went in one ear and out the other.
How can I confront her to let her know that I'm really getting sick of this and that I'm not kidding about it either?
BTW, sorry if this seems like a rant. I guess all my frustration came out at once, haha.
4 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Calmly explain how you feel. Tell her that you feel as if you're always listening to her problems and helping her figure things out but that when you have a problem that you'd love her advice on, she seems to busy to talk to you about it.
If nothing changes, it may be time to find a new friend to discuss these things with. I'm not telling you that you'll need to replace her, but sometimes different friends are better are different things.
- 1 decade ago
Talk to her about this situation and how you are feeling. Maybe she doesn't notice that she is blowing you off when it comes to talking about yourself. The only way to find out is to ask her nicely. Just say something like, Hey i have a question, idk if its just me but sometimes i feel like your not hearing me out and its kinda making me feel upset. I guarentee she will listen, if shes a true friend. Keep your head up!
Hope this helps && best of luck!
- 1 decade ago
Tell her the next time she lays all her problems on the table that you cant deal with her problems until you fix your own!
- serialmom12Lv 51 decade ago
sounds like my BFF.....everything is I, ME, MINE (and the hell with everyone else.) I guess you and I are good listeners?