What to do when a friend steals your wedding ideas?

To be fair, "your" wedding has probably been done a million times before. The time (how many options can there be?), the colours etc.

But I can see how you'd be upset, especially if you think she has done it consciously.

Seeing as you had yours planned first, I think it is perfectly fair for you to let her know that seeing as the dates are so close, you won't be able to commit to helping her too much as you'll be busy with your own.

One way you could up her though on the colours thing is to send your invitations out first and make sure they are the colour/theme of your wedding. Then the people going to both will get yours first and hers will seem like a copy.

The only thing you can do to guarantee your weddings are different is change everything. But why should you have to? Just grit your teeth and keep going. On the day it won't matter. Don't give up your dream wedding just because she is copying some elements.

As long as she doesn't decide to marry your fiance as well, you'll have a beautiful day.

You never know, she might end up changing her mind.

You could test out the waters and let her know that you really liked her idea for *flowers* and you'll probably do the same. If she gets upset, just looked shocked and say - well I thought seeing as you were doing the same *sash colours* as me, you wouldn't mind me doing the same *flowers*. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were so sensitive.

She might take the hint and change her plans. If not, then you know she's in her own little wdding world and nothing you can do will change it.

I agree with fiance though, and maybe be discreet about any new ideas. If she asks what you're doing, just say - I'm not sure. I have a few ideas but haven't decided yet.

Good luck and remember the most important part is you're getting married, not that you're having a big party.

What a high and humble offer. My suggestion would be don't let the little green monster get too you. This is a rare opportunity to test your mettle and if your wedding ideas would float. An idea person can always get other ideas but your "friend" she just doesn't have a clue.

My suggestion don't get fully sucked in. If you can stomach it put your wedding plans either ahead to get even or back to be smart even better do it as a dry run for yours, if all else fails you can elope with style. before her wedding another key juggler move. She wouldn't be able to say she married before you, you would be slightly stealing some of her thunder especially if your wedding reception was thrown 2days to 1 month before her wedding and bridal dinner. When asked you can always remark I gave my best ideas away and decided all was needed was me and him and a few people that could leave in a hurry. Not to mention the oh is she or isn't she effect, make sure you hold your stomach a lot and fain almost fainty and slightly nauseated a few times.

Don't plan her wedding!

And think about it this way. If she's stealing your ideas, but you get married first, she's going to look dumb and unoriginal. Egg all over her face. There is no nice way about it. Tell her you don't appreciate her stealing your stuff. After all, like someone else said, you're not her wedding planner. How long do you have til your wedding? Do you have time to switch up some things? Just to make it you and unique. I hope things get better and in my opinion, your friend doesn't sound too much like a "friend".

Edit: I just saw you're getting married in Sept. of next year. Yeah, you got time to plan other stuff. And if you need people to bat ideas around, myself and others on here are more than happy to help you!!!

Politely tell her that if she wants your help, and she's going to use so many of your ideas without asking you first, that she's going to have pay you for your time and trouble just like she would any other wedding planner. To do something like that is thoughtless and rude. It's is possible that she simply lacks imagination, and really needs your ideas. It's also possible that she doesn't remember you telling her about them. She could be stealing them subconsciously.

Of course you should say something. What are you supposed to do, help with her wedding while carrying such resentment in your heart?

Of course, if you're in charge, you could come up with some new ideas for her wedding. Just tell her they're better. Or tell her you've come up with new ideas for your own wedding. Maybe she'll steal those too...

Sister,

You have learned some important lessons. The first being that this is not your friend. Although imitation is the highest form of flattery, to take your ideas and plan the wedding before yours seems somewhat competitive.

The second lesson that you have learned is to not share so much of your ideas with others.

Now that you have learned these lessons, you have a decision to make. Do you suck it up, plan her wedding and then move on. Or do you let her know how it made you feel, refuse to help plan her wedding and end the friendship.

Whatever you decide, you have a right to make that decision. Good luck friend.

That would make me so upset. First, you know not to tell her any more of your ideas. Now is the time to be very direct with her, tell her you don't have time to "help" her plan the other 20% of her wedding when she's already copied most of it from yours. Tell her that you're flattered that she likes your ideas but also very hurt that she didn't even try to make them her own. If she is a true friend, she won't want your guests to have "wedding deja vu" and she will make some adjustments so that her wedding is more unique. Good luck.

This is very upsetting! I'd be pissed off, too.

I agree with your fiance. Just don't tell her anything else. I'm sure since you're very creative you can come up with something that is still your dream but that looks drastically different from what she is doing. Think about it. She's so lame, she couldn't even come up with her own ideas. Your weddings are going to be soooo different even with the same ideas, trust me.

And tell that chick she can do her own wedding, there's no way you're putting yours on hold to do hers! You already had a date set and everything, how dare she! You're going to have to get in touch with your inner rage and stop being so nice. You will be so angry, you won't care if you're hurting her feelings because she really does need to apologize and get her own ideas.

she does not sound like a very good friend at all. try looking back over your friendship has she stolen your thunder before? or tried to do things better than you?

i had a friend like that once. i had fallen in love and my new boyfriend was taking me on a holiday to florida. a few months before i was flying out she came to me and said she was getting married, and guess where she got married ..... florida, what hurt the most was that she got married the day before i flew out so i couldnt be there!

so many times she has done this. it turns out she was always jealous of me and was always trying to make her experiences better than mine.

firstly you need to speak to this friend and voice your concerns. tell her you wont plan her wedding as she already knows you are planning your own. also that she should choose different ideas for her wedding, as it is not fair that she has decided to do the same thing as you, and worst of all when people attend your wedding that attended hers, they will be remembering hers and comparing. sad to say but it is true.

whatever you do, remember it is your day and you should enjoy it whatever way you want. dont let her ruin your day.

x

Tell her 'you don't want my ideas, you want to come up with something original and special and unique to you'. Maybe suggest some things that she will like that are way different from what you are doing. Tell her 'I so wish I had thought to do that...but too late now. .....hey! you should do that, it would be awesome if you did!'. The thing is just to subtly steer her in a different direction from what you are doing.

If all else fails, tell her you don't like how she is doing everything the same as you.....or you could just change you whole wedding and not tell her anything but hopefully it won't come to that :) But don't share anymore of your real ideas with her anymore, just tell her lots of fake ones. Hope it works out for you.

well, I definitely wouldnt be planning her wedding. thats her job, not yours. as your fiance said, stop telling her your ideas. or, if shes just interested in copying your ideas then come up with something you would never use for your wedding and tell her those. maybe she'll change her mind and go with the new ideas you told her so you can have your wedding plans back. the only other thing to do is tell her what she is doing and that it bothers you that she is taking ideas you came up with. the only problem with that route is she is apt to call you jealous and start a fight about it.