opinions on a song I wrote?

Those aren't good lyrics, They're kinda scary.

My advice, most singer songwriters start off with sad meaningful lyrics and they either get sadder or happier. To me im usually in a good mood and I dont let sad songs get me down but I feel that if you are going to write a sad song, remember a point in your life when you felt like total crap, and channel those feelings into words. On the other hand just do the same for a happier song. You see there really is no need to put other people in bad moods with sad songs, unless your trying to tell your feelings.:)

wow. pretty powerful stuff. although i had alittle problem with the part "The last thing I see is the car and a tree". was that intended to rhyme? if so, i think you should change that part . everything else was pretty good. but i can't picture that as a metal song, though

nice lyrics there.. now u just have to put it well with the music ..

its more like a story if u try to put the same story but in different shape like .. 4 lines and chours .. i mean divide the story into parts between each part put the chours (Under the Electric Lights)..

anyway i like metal music and reading lyrics but im not good in writing them :) ..

tc..

Its Fantastic,

i write songs myself

Put an audio inthen ill judge it thx

I like it, but it's kind of sad. I'd love to hear it....

Do you have anymore lyrics to anymore songs you've written?

It is pretty good.

I dont do metal, but the lyrics are really good!

metal is def my favorite genre, this could be good matched up with good vox and rolling heavy riffs

sweet lyrics.

=] I think you got talent.