paternity test questions.?

If you have a relationship with this child, like you have actually been a father to him/her, then I wouldn't persue a paternity test. Your relationship with the child is more important than genetics.

If your ex is telling people who know you that the child isn't yours, she could be lying just to hurt you, knowing the information will get back to you.

Also, if you do ask for paternity test, and it turns out the child IS yours, she's going to remind that child at every opportunity that you didn't really want him/her, and that you tried to get out of taking care of him/her--making you look like the bad guy.

I don't know if you'll see this, but I just read your additional info. I would say go for the paternity test, but if it turns out you are the father, get a lawyer and sue for visitation. It's up to her to prove any reason why you shouldn't see the child, so take her to court. Keep a log of everything she says and does to prevent you from seeing this child and report it to the lawyer. It sounds like this woman is unstable...it would be a good thing for the child to have one stable parental figure to look up to.

The child is five years old and if you love this child as your own a DNA will only prove it is or is not your biological child.

The questions you should ask is if you love the child would a DNA matter? If its all about the money and you could care less about the child and the child could care less about you, ie not calling you daddy, rely on you for stability of what little it gets from the mom simply let it go. Continue to be a great father if that what your desire is and if you do not get hung up on raising another man's child if the child is not yours I think you are representative of very few stand up guys.

Another not overly expensive alternative is to google a few at home DNA test sites or go to the drugstore to purchase a DNA kit. You can get the DNA results performed privately in your home with the quick swab of a cotton stick between you and the child without her knowledge then know within a month for your own sanity, if for no other reason you are no fool only a father. K? Best of luck!

Check with the local laws regarding this subject in your state first off. In some cases you only have 60 days to contest paternity. Secondly you can Ninja a test without notifying her is you really wanted to. Its just a couple cotton swabs on the childs cheek and a couple on yours. Beta Paternity sends you a kit it cost just under $300 and take a couple weeks (Its not admissable in court due to a lack of handeling controls a legal test costs more and will not be as easy to ninja). I went that route cause the kid looked like Winston Churchill . .who knew he was a relative of mine. Now if I could just get a swab from him I could prove it beyond doubt.

As to the rest of the comments around the bond and the emotional welfare of the child you should weigh them carefully and act according to your own conclusions.

As for if you would have to continue to pay child support on a child that you can prove is not yours . . .you could be in for a difficult legal battle. The State traditionally will give the well being of a child more weight than the financial situation or actual paternity of the father. Some attest its a matter of assumed paternity after a certain period of time.

In a lot of these cases were women claim men are the child and they are not, The man will take the paternity test,if if proven he is NOT THE FATHER, then the man can take the women to court and if the man has paid any child support, then the women will most likely have to pay it all back.

you should weigh out your choices here

you could continue to make this child really happy and still be the kid's dad, pay your support and spend time with the child

you could have a paternity test done, find out you are the child's father and still do the same

or you could have a paternity test done, find out the child is NOT yours and still do the same

or turn your back on the child simply because the child is not yours

only YOU know what you can live with here...

i don't think that i could turn my back on a child after 5 years of THEM believing that i was their parent

so, your ex is a real ***** and possibly truly milking the system, but, the child that calls you dad needs a mature, fine example of a parent (obviously, it won't be her mother!)

Seriously, if you have had a relationship with your daughter and you love each other you want to think it through before you find out whether it's possible in your state.

If the test says you're not the biological dad, you are not related and therefore, have no right to any more contact with the child. At 5 she's old enough to remember you. If you disappear, she'll be affected if you've been in her life consistently. And if she'll be affected, ask yourself if it's worth it to know the "truth," when the truth is that you're her dad.

Actually, the court's that started the child support should have automatically issued a paternity test first thing. Since they didn't, you have every right to know the truth, & so does the child. The worst case scenerio would be that you are not the child's father & she would loose her money train.

well i suppose you have a right to ask for one , but that should be based on your own feelings not what some one says about your ex, however if you must know then go ahead ,but i most say respectfully that think about the child that you have been taking care for 5 years and then ask yourself if the DNA would change the way you feel about the baby , after all it is not the kids fault they are here it's the parents so just remember that and good luck that is alot to ask .

Well. You could pay for the test yourself if you question it but she would have to be willing to take it. I would threaten her with it. Tell her to either take the test or your support will end. She will either take it because she has no fear of the kid not being yours or she will back off because she is afraid of the results.

Now if you signed the birth certificate then it is too late and regardless if you are the kids biological father or not you are the father. You basically adopted her if she is not yours and you signed the birth certificate.

At this point does it matter?

You've loved and taken care of the kid for five years- is kicking the ex in the teeth one last time worth ripping a child out of your life?