Are there a many adopted people who don't have children?

I'm adopted, and was intentionally childless until I was 38. I knew I wanted children, but would not consider having them until I was in a place emotionally, financially, etc. where I could do the best parenting job I was capable of doing.

I now have 3 children. It seems most adoptees I know IRL have children. My BFF, also adopted has 2. The adoptees I know online are mixed, either have children, or are intentionally childless.

There were three of us given up for adoption. I had three children, my sister had two and I have a brother who had none.

Honestly, the fact that I am an adoptee didn't really affect my decision on whether or not I was going to have children, but I did wait until I was married, had a stable income and a home and knew that I could provide them with the kind of life I didn't have.

My bio mother didn't have anymore children and my bio father had a son, that didn't know he even had other siblings.

I think that consciously or unconsciously an adoptee's decision on whether or not to have children, or not having them until they know they can provide for them is directly related to the fact that they were given up for adoption.

I'd like to know how many adoptee's have given their children up for adoption. I'd never put my children through that system! No one would be able to convince me that the system has changed and some of those foster parents weren't fit to raise dogs, let alone a child--although, I would choose adoption over abortion--at least the child has a fighting chance.

I am 34 and I don't have any children. I didn't think that I wanted any until recently. I always thought my depression and other problems were hereditary and I didn't want to pass them and any other medical problems that I don't know about on to my children. I know think that most of my problems stem from the act of adoption, not just my biological parents.

My boyfriend who is 34 was adopted out of foster care. He also does not have any children. We have talked about having a child together and how the child would be the "first" blood relative for both of us.

My adopted brother is 37 and he doesn't have any children and as far as I know ( to the surprise of his wife) doesn't want to have any.

One of my friends has a brother and a sister who were both adopted, she was biological. Her brother married another adoptee and they have had 3 biological children. Her sister is married and adopted 3 children out of foster care but has no biological children. I am not sure if she tried to have biological children or not.

More evidence that every adoptees experience is different!

I am an adoptee and I don't have children. This is a decision I have made for now.

I have two role models of mothers, both of them awful in different ways.

What do I know about being a good mother!

And yes they were a big part of the decision not to, as was the constant reminder by people to not have kids at the wrong time, with the wrong person etc like my first mother. And my adoptive mother whose own family say they are surprised us kids turned out as well as we did because she is/was so strange and damaged (her families words not mine).

Laurie,

I have often heard that bmoms don't have kids afterwards (i believe the term is secondary infertility) so i would also like to know how many bmoms end up adopting?

this is an excellent question that you've posted. I am an adoptee but i do have a child AND a beautiful 6 mo old granddaughter. I know a few other adoptees with child(ren) but, since i don't always bring up adoption, i can't be sure of the many pregnant people i see around work if they're adoptees or bmoms.

good question -- i'm looking forward to seeing the answers.

I'm adopted and I have children. It was fabulous finally having a blood relative, I'm very glad I do. I do know a couple other adoptees who haven't had any children by choice.

A-ok said something about "secondary infertility", which I know happened to my bio parents. My first mom never got pregnant again after me despite trying, and my first dad married a woman who was infertile. Weird. Not really your question, but I wonder how often that happens?

I am adopted and I did wait to have children until I was married and as financially stable as I thought we could be. I don't think I did this because I was adopted though. I think it has to do with how I was raised. I was raised by parents who showed me a loving, married couple who were devoted to all of their children's needs.

So I wanted to be in the same type of situation to raise my children in the same mannor as I was. Because of my experience my husband and I have discussed adopting from the foster care agency so we can provide a child a good home environment, one that they'll know they won't have to leave.

A very interesting question though. I'd never thought about it that way.

I'm adopted & also a child of the foster care system (age11 until I aged out at 18) I have 4 children biologically and my 2 nephews live with us as foster children

My brother is also adopted and has none by choice

Guess that doesn't really help much eh?

ETA: I just realized I waited until after I had been through the reunion experience to have kids, not sure if that maybe matters...

This is an interesting question and brings up a lot of things for me. As an adult adoptee I have a child, and lost 5 to illness during pregnancy, obviously I chose to have children, my body and I just didnt agree on the subject terribly well. My bio mother went on to have three other children. She was pregnant with my sister 11 months after my birth, she and the father married and they went on to have 2 girls and a boy. Throughout the entire marraige my mother and her children were repeatedly abused physically and emotionally by her husband, the relationship ended in divorce. He has no contact with either her or their children. If my mother hadnt been forced to give me up my sisters and brothers may not have been born, or, I may have been raised by an abusive step father. Instead, I was adopted by a loving family who wanted me desperately. My decision to become a mother came from my adoptive mother who was and still is a fantastic example of motherhood.

I was adopted and now have 5 terrific kids. I always wanted kids ever since I was little even though I had a abusive upbringing. I guess everyone is different in wanting kids or not. :)