How do I keep my dog from licking his "private parts"?

John,

where is your heart with this -- do you want to make him stop for his own safety and health concerns or are you just jealous of his ability to do so? jealous that he seems to be getting more than you? do you think Ernie is taking your glory when you're on the couch?

First, there are no health and safety concerns for a dog to do this. On the other hand, men would suffer extreme health and safety concerns if they got that as much as their dog does. I'm not sure the exact reasons but i've used that as an excuse many a time and it seems to work.

Secondly, if you're doing it just because you're jealous, I would recommend taking yoga so that you can manipulate yourself in such a manner as to complete the task. I would also encourage your girlfriend to take yoga -- i know it allowed me and my beaus to find some great new positions and when you're big like me, you gotta find those creative ways. Anyway, once you and the gal do the yoga, ernie will be the least of your worries as your girlfriend will be demanding more while you're pooped out in a corner somewhere wishing the dog could take over for you.

maybe you need to get a buddy for ernie -- it won't kill the mood!

Turn down those lights, put on "Farce of the Penguins" and you got yourself a night of creative lovin' coming on.

don't forget the yoga

I think Ernie has a question on YA. It says how can I keep John from making out with his girlfriend? This licking is losing its effect.

Get a room! (For the dog.) When your girl is over, concentrate on her and let Ern have a nap in in his crate or another room. Give him a Kong filled with cheese or peanut butter and he'll forget for a time he has, uh, other interests. (I've been the Girl in this picture. Ern needs to somewhere else for a while.)

Dogs sometimes lick their areas due to stress, or an infection. If you dont think that its either of those, there are sprays for dogs that taste really bitter so that when they take a lick, they immediately stop because they simply dont want to taste that anymore. Im sure you can find some at petsmart. Its called like bitter apple spray.

you can spray him with a water bottle when you catch him in the act...but not much else.

"two guys were walking down the street when the saw a dog licking himself. one guy says to the other "i wish i could do that." the other guy responds "you might wanna wait 'til he's done first."

He is a dog and is going to do his business anywhere any time. Put him in a room that is not used or important to you and the family.Make sure there are no breakables in that room.

realize your dog isn't doing it for the same reasons you would do it. he is grooming himself. i doubt your complain when he licks his paws and uses them to wipe his face. it's the same thing.

if the dog really does ruin the mood that much, then perhaps you should take the action into your bdrm or contain your dog in a room before the girl comes over. the easiest thing to do is act maturely, realize it's a dog, and then find girls who are mature enough to handle a grooming animal.

Shelby K might have a better idea but I was Thinkin hott sauce not allot just enough to get his attention.

Lol. nice.....

give him a bath. by licking himself hes cleaning himself so hes probably nasty down there hah. take him to the groomer if you can't bath him yourself. check for fleas too. they can be nasty critters, and check for hot spots. you'd be better off taking him to the vet though.. i've noticed if male dogs are neutered they wont do that as much. so you and your girlfriend need ta take a breather and get your dog to the vet and groomer and get him fixed up!

You know the dog needs to do it. The problem is the timing. So before your girlfriend arrives, do it for him. Problem solved.