Initate meeting with husband ex-wife?

I'm not sure if anything you do will be able to change the way she is acting towards you. But by you making the first step and making the effort to connect and be civil with her is definitely the first step towards having a good relationship with your child's other parent.

I have a good relationship with my ex but it took us a long time. Our daughter was only 2mo old when we separated and is now almost 5. He pretended he had never been married or had a child for the first 2 years. Then he took me to court and fought for custody. Them ignored us again. Then when I got re-married he fought me for custody again. It took him getting re-married and dealing with his step son before he really understood what he was missing in his daughter's life and how hard he was making my life.

I had always put the offer of friendship and joint parenting out on the table. And now that he is ready to accept that we are getting along well and our daughter has 4 loving parents who all do our best to care for her.

I know it can be really hard. But if your thoughts are always with what is best for the child it will turn out for the best no matter what. I wish you lots of luck (and strength).

Whoa sweetie this is tricky ground. THEY are the childs parents. YOU need to respect that. If your husband feels his ex wife is doing things right by his kid y ou need not get involved any further, it could damage your relationship with him. Some people just can not get along, ex's and new girl or not. It appears that this is one of those times. The best thing YOU can do is love your step son, and make the most of your time with him. You can not ever go wrong showing a child love. As per the mother, well unless she is specifically taunting and tormenting you, let it go. The father will deal with things the best way he sees fit no matter what you say anyways. Also, you may be jealous b/c she has his child, and what they once shared. Its tough!

Its almost like inviting the ex girlfriend to talk with the current one. That would not work, especially on a daily basis. When 2 ppl have children together that can't be helped. However; you can stay out of their business as much as possible and just be the best step mother you can be to this 5 year old boy.

Oh Wonderful.

Nothing quite like "Wife Number 2" thinking she somehow runs the show now....

You haven't told us HOW she is manipulative.......YOU however said yourself,

" I didn't care much when I was the gf, but now I'm the new wife, I like some of the manipulative tactics to stop"

Honey, you showed you didn't care before, so trust me, that ring is going to mean NOTHING to her.....SHE is still the child's mother, and quite frankly, always will be.

Don't accuse her of anything. Be nice...talk quiet and be direct. Tell her that you would like you all to get along for the sake of the son. Whatever you do, no matter what she says....if nasty...do not react. Remain calm. She can't fight with someone that won't react. It is a very mature thing that you are trying tod. I hope it works out for the sake of the boy.

I'm not sure I'd initate such a meeting without a specific purpose. It's true you're going to have lots of opportunities in the years to come. I would suggest letting it play itself out. Just be friendly and available.

you never know what is going to happen...... my mom was friends with my dads first wife to the point that I called her my AUNT.. They don't talk anymore but only because they lost contact.. as for my parents they are now divorced too not that any one believes me because they are friendlier now than they were when they were married. And my dad still talks to his first wife too...... you may actually make a new friend when all is said and done!

Leave it alone. Just act with as much civility as possible.

If you try to hold a sensible conversation with a bitter snake, you will get bitten. You may accomplish a moment of peace, but it probably will revert to the same conflicting atmosphere before long. Save your breath.

some people are the way she is shes probaly jealous of you and the only hold she has on your husband is the child that they share together and there are people that use the children to get what they want.i think if you initiate a meeting it isnt going to do much of anything other then make her want to manipulate more.i think this woman is a loss cause.

honestly, if she is playing games, that is just the way that she is and you wanting to meet with her is not going to change anything.

this is why you dont marry men with baggage, and you dont have the ex to deal with!