Does it upset you when someone treats nice people badly in private?

It is bewildering, I find that in real life they are easier to detect as I age, I have found that my radar skills have improved, when it happens to me on line where I don't expect it nor can I resolve the issue as easily as if it were to happen in person and I find that if i were to try to respond to the attack it would steal some of my precious energy, who needs it?

The thing that I dislike about the whole affair is that it comes out of no where and your left perplexed as to their motivation, I see them as being immature and mentally unstable.

Unfortunately when they are "popular" you feel as if you can not ask for help or for another trusted persons opinion about the situation, you are left feeling like you have to keep a dirty little secret, somewhat like people who experience abuse, actually it is a form of abuse in my opinion and it is wrong.

I am here with an open door and an open invitation to share with like minded people with similar philosophies that want to leave this place and our world a little better than they found it .

It costs so little to listen with respect to one another and offer friendship and support. People need to learn that they must "earn" the title of being a friend before they ask for it from someone else.

I can see from (((Major's))) and ((((Tash's))) responses that it may not only be happening to me.

(I know recently it has happened to (((Tash)) and that saddens me that someone would hurt her?

((((suzyQ))))

What a great question, Suzy Q. I say yes, it has upset me, because I, like others here, have felt the sting of that bite. And from people I had admired. I did not let it bother me for long, though. We can only control ourselves, right? People will do things that hurt, things that we feel are about us, and in reality, the issue is them. Who knows? Are they just ignorant of the destruction they leave behind in their attempt to control their world?

My ex-husband is a prime example of this type of person. Always I heard, "Isn't he the most wonderfully kind guy around? Oh, yes!" But behind closed doors, "Hmmmm, no."

I believe one can be nice and still assertive so people do not get away with treating them badly. Those who do that sometimes just need a little push back to realize that they cannot get away with it. I think the key is in the nice person's hand not the obnoxious one, the latter is a hopeless case! or may be they don't realize they're doing it until they are confronted with it? don't know, just my view!!

Yes, it's very disconcerting, especially when the rest of the world doesn't know how that person really acts in private to some folks. I have a hard time even wrapping my mind around it, really. What is the point of acting like that? Grrr.... (((SuzyQ)))

Edit: Do you think they even understand what they are doing? I'm just astonished sometimes at some things!!

I find it extremely frustrating.

The worst part of it is when they have all of yout friends thinking they are sweet and innocent, while they've been extremely nasty to you. It's a horrible situation when you don't want to speak up for fear everyone will turn on you. I felt like quitting Yahoo completely because I felt so singled out and alone.

I think it's a form of psychological bullying - like the popular kids at school being nasty to you in private because they know that they are too popular for you to do anything about it.

Popularity is a horrible weapon to wield.

I have been in this situation here and in real life. The situation in real life sorted itself out as ultimately that person showed their true colors. It's inevitable that the same will happen here too. One can only hide one's true personality for so long before they either slip up or upset someone who chooses not to keep quiet.

(((((Sound proof))))) ((((Major))))) ((((Susie Q))))

I'm curious - is this only happening to us gals? Or guys too?

Yes. It happens all the time - especially within the family. A lot of the abusers are probably alcoholics and their personalities are still damaged for a long time after they give up drinking.

yea it does make me pretty mad because being someone who is too nice most of the time i get walked all over by people who think they are better and act as if they are the innocent ones and place blame or point fingers to the real innocent ones; the nice people. Prob. why our world is soo corrupt today.

Yea, they are called "fake" and it's a very unattractive quality in a person. It's easy to respect a person who is honesty and has the courage to speak their mind to everyone and very easy to have no respect for someone who is two faced and back stabs people.

Yes sure, and it people usually believe him just don't bother yourself, finally you can't change the whole world (but it's good to try )

I think I feel 100% like you!

hope we stay in contact

Yes, those type of people irritate the hell out of me. But it makes me feel better knowing that eventually they will get theirs.