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Poem: Your Blinded Eyes?
False actuation is what you make
Yet you can't see you made a mistake
All those lies
Leave you with blinded eyes
A spear in your eye
A splinter in his
You pick there's out
And leave yours in
I think it needs to be longer. Whats your take on it?
5 Answers
- Jay ArgentinaLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
feels like just was getting into it. it needs closure. something.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I love it the way!! But if you want to make it different then..
You always make the wrong actuation
You don't know that you made a mistake
Those 1,000's of lies
Leaves you blinded in the eyes
You get a sharp spear in your eye
And a pointy splinter in his
You take his splinter out
But leave your spear in
...you see the reader needs to be able to see it, touch it etc.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
i think the poem is niice and simple and the lenght is also okay
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