things to think about 2!?

- What is the speed of dark?

- When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of

earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

- What's another word for synonym?

- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is

it considered a hostage situation?

- When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes

don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

- How can there be self-help groups?

- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

- Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

- Where are Preparations A through G?

Things To Ponder: Part 2

- Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

- When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

- Hermits have no peer pressure.

- Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot..

- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

- What a nice night for an evening.

- When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"

- Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?

- I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

- I live on a one-way dead-end street.

- It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

- Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.

- I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far."

- I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.

- Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

- When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.