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dddbbb
Lv 6
dddbbb asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Why do I feel like I don't belong?

Any psychologists to be able to shed some light on this? I have always felt seperate from other people, whatever group they fall into(my projection?). I always feel like I'm not part of the crowd. In kindergarten, I went to a birthday party and just sat there watching my ice cream melt, because I felt out of place, uncomfortable, not part of that group. Had a few casual friends in childhood, but nobody Iv'e stayed in touch with. Finished Grad school in media arts 2 years ago and have only seen a couple people from there this past year. The one or two I chatted with or went for a drink or coffee are out of touch. They never acted like I was weird or bothersome. They complemented my work and predicted much success for me. I know that some of them still do things together. But once again, I don't feel like I'm part of their group and would feel awkward trying to be more active in the situation. --I could call them and try to arrange a gathering, but when I force things that way, it's not.

Update:

BTW I'm married with one child. My wife has a few friends at a class she attends but isn't much more social than I.

My son seems to be quite outgoing and isn't having experiences like mine.--Thankfully!

Update 2:

Mildred you do have a life. Your in school! Hurray! (I teach). Invisible...yeah I can walk into a diner, bumping people on my way in, and then nobody waits on me for 15 minutes 'till I wave my arms, and they're like"Oh, when did you come in?" I always sat in the back of class too...best place to observe other's weird behavior, right?

Update 3:

Depression? Yes, I have been depressed all my life and tried all the meds and alternative "cures" to no avail. But I feel that this not belonging is a specific, seperate issue for me.

3 Answers

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  • CHER
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    you are depressed about life.just try to remember that life is what you make of it.

    learn from your past experiences and try not to make the same mistakes over.you need change in your routine and that comes from your strength within.

    you are a strong person and recognizing that there is a problem is a step in the right direction.

    do not alienate yourself from good people and learn to stay away from people that are toxic to your ego.

    you probably do not feel like you are part of the GROUPS because you are a leader not a follower.just learn to relax,take everything in stride and most important of all,you need to realize that what you have to say matters too.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't understand your sadness of not being part of the crowd. You are not alone ,there are many many people who are in a similar place. Many of them chose NOT to be part of the crowd. Its interesting that you view it so negatively. Some people are not part of any crowd and do not fit into any group yet they are aware that they are unique and an individual,and they do not just go along with the flock just to be accepted. Be positive in the life you have chosen and if you are a good person and a bit different from the crowd then the right people will appreciate your good qualities even if the masses don't. So go on push the boat out!

    "A ship is safe in the harbor but that's not what ships were built for".

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Are you going through depression? It sounds like you actually have a life, so I wouldn't be too worried about not belonging. Think about all the other people in the world, for example, me. I am an outcast. I sit in the back of the room in each class, because I guess that's where my teachers think is best. I don't talk to anyone, and I feel like I am always depressed. I continually am Invisible, and no one likes me.

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