a divorce question. not legal crap. emotional.?

Question

My wife and I are about to start the legal divorce process. uncontested. we didnt fight over petty crap like most. we separated peacefully. we are still civil and usually pretty agreeable about whatever we talk about or need to take care of. i moved out of our home 7 or 8 months ago. she moved out 4 months ago. this was all relativeley civil and agreeable, compared to most. 
My issue comes from the fact that she is still my wife. in a good way. not bad. i still refuse to date anyone. i dont "fool around" with anyone. to be perfectly honest, im still devastated by the fact that its done. i stay busy to not stay depressed. shes now got a new boyfriend. and i am truly happy for them. they have always been friends. so im sure they will be ok. im not jealous. i think im mostly hurt at the idea...not the event. if that makes any sense. im still honoring our agreement, the promises we made. even though its clearly over. as of right now, she still is my wife. am i wrong? stupid crap ruined us

Himpalapotamus · Accepted Answer

You're doing the right thing - you're going to have to live with yourself for the rest of your life so honoring your marriage while you go through the divorce is the honorable thing.  Once the marriage is over I'm sure you'll be able to take some first steps towards a new life.

You'll never quite get over the trauma of this devastating end to your marriage - even though it's civil.  I wonder if you've ever really let your emotions loose over this.  I imagine you should be sobbing - the hopes and dreams that you had when you made your vows have been shattered.

No matter what caused the marriage to fail, it's not your failure.  Keep doing the right thing and your next marriage is sure to be better.  Good luck, man of Honor.

andy · Answer

I really can feel for you  ,,I went through the same thing with my first wife... She was living with another man when I returned from overseas    I simply told her she was free to do what she  wanted ,,,,,we divorced and I moved on   Took me 2 years before I tried dating again, Once,,, then another year before I tried a  second time  After 6 years   I met and married my second and present wife  So hang in there  Things get better...By the way my ex and I are still good friends   Good Luck

Anonymous · Answer

When we divorce it is a one day at a time process of working through all the emotions. We have to guard our peace of mind as much as possible and not let these thoughts rule. I have found that by telling my story it helps a lot. Here is a great site to do that at and  possibly get paid for it. 

http://www.divorcefire.com/thirtydollargiveaway.html

lopilato · Answer

there is no such subject as a difficulty-unfastened regulation divorce. in case you acquire legally married in a courthouse, you're legally married era. seek for advice from an criminal expert. you may break up with out her nevertheless.

Lisa · Answer

A friend of mine is in the same situation, he even still wears his wedding band--he was the one that filed though.  You're not wrong or stupid, that's just the way you are.

Anonymous · Answer

Since you are about to start a divorce, I would say that
all your promises are null and void.  Forget about them, the
person you made them to doesn't care about those promises
anymore, so why should you?  Go out and start  living your
life.

The End · Answer

you still love your wife and there is nothing wrong with loving her after the divorce. 
some times people are better off being apart

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a divorce question. not legal crap. emotional.?

7 Answers