31 INTERESTING FACTS tell me a joke in return?

Question

First of all i would like to tell u that i know i could have posted the same question in the Trivia category but a very few people visit that category so i posted it here..

1. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

2. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

3. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

4. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

5. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

6. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

7. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

8. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

9. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

10. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

11. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

12. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

13. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

14. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

15. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

16. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

17. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

18. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. (rumor)

19. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

20. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

21. Pearls melt in vinegar.

22. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

23. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

24. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

25. A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why. (Or does it? http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_world/duck/duck.htm)

26. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

27. Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word 'criminal.' The second was William Jefferson Clinton.

28. Turtles can breathe through their butts.

29. Butterflies taste with their feet.

30. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

31. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

jishnuhere · Accepted Answer

You have got to read it in style with a British accent to enjoy . A Poor bihari villager named GANPATRAI who really needs a job, is being interviewed by a Britisher for a job. .
Britisher :Han to gannd fat raha hai (Ganpatrai)!!
Bihari : nahi sir, jyada nahi!! Britisher : kya
jyada nahi bolta hai, tumhara application me likha
hua hai Ganpatrai. Bihari : Thik hai mai bap, likha
hai to fat raha hoga. Britisher : tum daily marata
(tum delhi me rahta) hai?? Bihari : nahi sir, kabhi
kabhi!!
Britisher : kya kabhi kabhi Britisher : Ganpathrai,
idar aaoo, bolta hai, tumhara application me
likha hua hai ki tum daily marata. Bihari : thik hai
mai bap, likha hai to marata hounga. The bihari
was employed on one condition that he will do
whatever Britisher's family asks him to do.
Britisher : Gandfatrai!! Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.
Britisher : Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai
Ganpatrai : hukum Sarkaar Britisher : Tum pehla
hamaari beti ko Chodega (Leave HER) phir
hamaari biwi ko Chodega aur uske baad hum ko
chodega. Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumri
biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi
chodh sakta. Britisher : Ganpathrai, Tum ko hum
ko chodhnaa padhega. Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa
zulum naa kare. Britisher : Ganpathrai, agar
Tum hum ko nahi chodh sakta to hum tumko nokri se
nikaal denga. Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar hum tum
ko bhi Chodega. Next dayThe wife of the Britisher
is Relaxing on the Lawn
Wife :Ganpatrai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
 Wife : Ganpatrai, jaldi se jaaoo aur hamaare liya chai banaa ke le aaoo. Aaj hum chai Laund (Lawn) pe piyega. Ganpatrai :Ji maalkin  Kahan ? La.........
Wife : Haa! Laund pe.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai Maalkin hum abhi jaavat hai aur?¢â€¢â€¢â€?pe chai
le aate hai After sometime Ganpatrai comes balancing
the tea tray on his ?¢â€¢â€¢â€? When he reaches the wife
on the lawn the tray is about to fall. Just then the
wife catches the tray. Wife (excited): Ganpatrai,
Tum ne hammarrri Phuddi (Furti) dekha? Ganpatrai :
Nahi Nahi Maalkin hum ne tumahhar Phuddi
nahi dekha Wife : Saala Jhootaa Ganpatrai tumne
hammara phhuddi dekha dekha dekhaaa.
Ganpatrai : Nahi dekha maalkin? Wife : Bolo ke
tumne dekha nahi to hum saaab ko bolke tumko naukri
se nikaal dengaa. Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin
hum ne tumhaara phuddi dekha After a few days There
is no one except The britishers wife at home. She
is alone in herbedroom. While wearing her bra she is
unable to put the knot behind. So Wife : Ganpatrai,
idhar aaoo? Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin. Wife : Ganpatrai,
hammara iska peeche se gaannd (Ganth) maaro.
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin. Wife :
Ganpatrai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota
hai. Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. akar maine aap
ki gaand maaro to hum ko sarkar kachha kha jayenge.
Wife : Ganpatrai, agar tumne jaldi se hammari gaannd
nahi maari to hum tumko kachha kha jaayengi
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin main tumki gaannd
maarta hun. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated
for this thing for a long time starts fuccking
like a bull. While FuckingThe wife gets irritated
and then she SHOUTS. Wife (Shouts) : GANDPHATRAI,
GANDPHATRAI, GANDPHATRAI, Ganpatrai : Arre Chokri,
Gaannd maarega to Gaannd to phatega hi !!!!!!

Mano · Answer

Everytime we sneeze, some of our brain cells die.

The roar that we hear, when we place a seashell next to our ear - is not the ocean, 
but rather the sound of blood - surging through the veins in our ear.

In a deck of playing cards, each king represents a great king from history.
Spades = David,  Clubs = Alexander the Great,  Hearts = Charlemagne,  Diamond = Caesar.

Joke.
An economist visits his old school and asks his professor to show some current exam questions.
To his surprise, they are exactly the same ones which he had answered 10 years ago!
When he asks about this, the professor says"Questions are always the same - only the answers change".

Anonymous · Answer

Interesting.

Anonymous · Answer

Brilliant facts!

As you asked, here is a joke:

One day, Derek Red, a 78 year old man, married Rachel, a 21 year old girl. Rachel went out one day, and Derek waited for her through the night. In the morning she still hadnt come back, and he though she might be sleeping with someone else. His heart began beating quickly. He ran to the apartments across the road, his heart beating pretty fast. He ran up the stairs all the way to the top, his heart beating very fast and loud. He ran to the end door and smashed it open. As his heart began to stop, he saw his wife putting on her clothes. He cried, and ran to the window. Outside he saw a man running as fast as he could with his tie off and his shirt out. Derek was angry, and he saw the fridge in the flat. He picked it up, and dropped it out of the window onto the man, who was killed. Derek's heart suddenly stopped, and he died. In the gates of heaven, Derek stood with some other people. An angel came and read out a list.
"Mr Red!" she said, and Derek came forward.
"How did you die?" she asked.
"I thought that my wife was sleeping with another man, and my heart stopped." Derek said.
"Okay." said the angel. "Mr. White!" she said. The man with his tie off and shirt out stepped forward.
"How did you die?" she asked.
"Well, I was really late for work, so I grabbed all my clothes and ran as fast as I could to work, but I was crushed by a fridge!" he said.
"Okay." said the angel again. "Mr. Black!" she called.
Another man stepped forward.
"How did you die?" she asked. The man replied, "Well, I was in this fridge....

rhay ♥ · Answer

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer

that's a shocker, now isn't it? think they would learn.

Anonymous · Answer

Sign behind an Amish carriage:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

tjmgyo · Answer

whats the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist

a Methodist will speak to you in the liquor store

chidambaram k · Answer

as requested             :Cheeky Kid
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. 
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you" 

"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go!"

Anonymous · Answer

Oh,that was brilliant stuff.Thank you very much.
Are all of them true?
How is it that donkeys are killing more people annually than air-crashes?

Anonymous · Answer

Joke 1
2 ants were walking along when they saw an elephant
1st ant :Let us attack him.
2nd ant: let the poor guy go.After all he's alone....
Joke2
Teacher(to students):In which form of  tense does this sentence belong to "I am beautiful"?
Students:Past

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31 INTERESTING FACTS tell me a joke in return?

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