Ladies/Bluebetalady Need Your Help/Advice Please Do I just need move away and forget about my ex and my kids?

First of all, you cannot outrun yourself. No matter how hard you try - problems will still follow you. So I really believe that moving will NOT solve the problem - and the real loser in that case would be your children.

I understand your feelings about being overwhelmed with what she is doing while you have the kids - but - you have to let it go. Focus one minute at a time on your kids - not her. Here is the thing, if you don't start letting it go - the thoughts will completely consume you...and yes this is much easier said that done...believe me.., been there done that! I ended up actually writing a long letter to my ex venting and raging on about everything, and making a safe campfire out of it.

As for talking to her about how you feel - don't, because women take this as a manipulation to get back into the picture and will just aggravate the situation even more. Be cordial, polite and even perhaps somewhat distant.

Try something, would you please? Every morning when you wake up, set 1 small goal for yourself and stick to it...like for me when I was going through this my first goal was "I will NOT call my ex today" and every day I came up with a different goal.

OK and finally, you need to continue with counseling and work with the councilor.

Blue~

PS~ I am going to unlock my email for you to see.

no moving wont help anything. You might have this feeling about her but it is only because you really loved her. Apparently she didnt feel the same way about you or she would have tried to work things out whether it be counseling or whatever. She had her mind made up when she did what she did. However if you move away from her it will only end up hurting the kids. Your children really need you right now because if she is dating then it is going to be hard on them to see another person in the place where you once were. Time heals all wounds but you cant let it get to you especially when you are with your kids. Focus your time on them when you have them and make sure they know that you are there for them if they ever need to talk about anything. They will appreciate that and it will make the transitions in their lives go a lot more smoothly. Good Luck

Leaving your children would be the biggest mistake you ever made. They need you now too. Counseling could help you a lot.

The harsher side of reality is this: you need to let it go. Yes easier said than done but..she doesn't want to hash it out like you do. You want to analyze it down to a specific reason that you can accept and there is no such thing. There is nothing else to say. She just doesn't love you anymore and there is no one reason for it. Discussing it or trying to is a lost cause and a no win for everyone involved. Learn to be friends, go on about your life. Concentrate on your children and the other things in life that make you happy. Someday, maybe she will be able to put it in words that will make more sense to you, but that isn't going to happen until you are in an emotional state of stability that will allow objectivity. Realize that it is not because you are a bad person, or ugly guy, or anything like that. The two of you just don't work together anymore.

No, moving away will eat you up inside because you will be abandoning your children. Go to grief/divorce counseling to work on getting over the ex and start focusing on those kids you have. They need your love and attention more than ever right now. It's a rough situation, but you have to suck it up and do what's right for your own children.

You're co-dependent on her, my man. You need some serious counseling. 1. to get over her 2. to be more confident and happy with yourself, and 3. to face the important issues. As a divorced father myself, I'll be the first to admit that my kids happiness and well being comes long before my own. Good luck with it all!

Leaving your childre will only make you feel worse even make you feel like your abandoning them when you know your not. You should move away but have wkend/holiday custody of your children. Have your ex send them to you every summer and constantly write and email them. Keep constant contact with the children but let them know that you had to put much distance between you and their mother and it has nothing to do with them. This way they don't blame you for leaving rather they will accept the fact that daddy needs to be happy just like mommy. Don't worry dear friend your heart will heal, granted it will take some time but you will get there. Good luck to you!

Snap out of it, man!

Your kids should be your NUMBER ONE priority - not your deflating ego!

My stepdad did this to us (years ago) when my mom left him for very good reasons. He would skip out on visitation, talk badly of my mom when he did FINALLY get around to see us and left my little brother sitting on the front porch, suitcase in hand - with teardrops streaming down his face - only to NEVER show up or call!

Til this day, my brother and sister still have abandonment issues because he was not man enough to suck it up and be the father that they deserved!

Take care of yourself by seeking counseling, focus on a hobby and support group and keep your kids number one!

Too many dead beat parents out there - please do not add to this statistic!

I think you need to realize you are worth a lot more than you are getting right now. You are still in love with a woman who was never good enough for you to begin with. You can waste the rest of your life pining away for her, or you can move on with your life and start looking out for you. You aren't being a very good father to your children either...they deserve 100% of your love and attention. You need to get out there and start liking yourself and try to find if there is someone out there who deserves to share your life with you.

Don't ever leave your kids! You're going to have to deal with this somehow but leaving your kids shouldn't be an option to you. I had a parent leave me and it has screwed with my thoughts since the day it happened. Even if they know the reason, they will always come up with a reason that is their fault. When they are adults, they are going to have so much hate and resentment towards you... there are too many parents that just leave their kids. Please don't do it to yours.

i think of the respond is interior the shown fact that she is transferring one hundred miles away. Please attempt to enable her pass as there is not any longer something greater you're able to do to get your courting back. i do no longer know how previous you're yet i'm particular you will locate somebody else to love. stable success interior the destiny.