Do you think people are confusing assertiveness with agressiveness?

I agree!

I've noticed that courteousness has very little place left in today's society. Everyone seems to have a sense of entitlement, everyone has to be first, everyone thinks they "deserve".

And at work it's always the people with the loudest "bark" who get others to do what they want. An ex co-worker of mine was always getting in her supervisor's face so that she could go home early or miss a day completely constantly bringing up that others in her department get time off which "entitles her" to time off as well.

Those of us that would go through the proper channels and appropriate paper work to request time off, on the other hand, were usually given a lot of grief by our managers.

Even outside of work I see people getting or doing whatever they want simply because they cause a scene or a fuss at the expense of others, but no one bothers to tell them how inappropriate they are behaving because it's perceived as "assertive" and not "aggressive".

I will agree that many people have confused what aggressive behavior is vs. assertive behavior. The most assertive and confident person I know is also one of the most laid back, kind and gentle, he doesn't act up unless there is something genuinely amiss, such as in defense of an insult, or meeting an aggressor with equal force, but no more (usually verbally, not physically). This is not to say that he doesn't act, he just sees no need to make a testicle out of himself.

On the other hand, I have known aggressive people, and they seem to just like to start things. I work with an aggressive person, and he's one of the littlest people I know.

I've noticed people tend to know that that, in order to be taken seriously and be heard, you need to be an alpha; however, people usually confuse alpha with the top dog or *****. These personalities tend to be very aggressive, bullying others to get their way, either verbally, or physically. There is no grace, no class, no courtesy, unlike with an assertive person. Alphas don't need to demand respect or attention, they get it through much quieter means.

But, when people can barely figure out what they, themselves, want, how can you expect them to be able to fully understand assertiveness without taking it to an unnatural extreme?

Yes. In fact someone who is not aggressive is even called inert!!!! But truly, the difference is no longer there. I think the difference lies in how you perceive the situation, even before you react. If you think the people would oppose you, even before they actually have, you would naturally end up being aggressive. On the other hand, if you believe you would be allowed to speak your thoughts, you would be assertive in a non aggressive way.

i agree...assertiveness has sort of become a euphemism for aggressiveness and even a way to make it a positive thing rather than negative.

being assertive is positive thinking and capability to carry through what ever it is you are trying to asscertain. meaning what you think say and do. agressive behaviour is the lack of being assertive.